LOVING A SEMINARIAN

CHAPTER IV FEELINGS

JOYCE

Sabi sa libro ang love daw dumadating sa panahong hindi mo inaasahan. Bigla lang daw itong kakatok sa pintuan ng puso mo at pag hindi mo daw pinagbuksan sisirain niya ito para makapasok lang.

Hindi ako aware sa pakiramdam ng pusong umiibig. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang signs and symptoms non. Wala akong idea kasi ni hindi ko pa naman nararanasan.

Bigla akong may naalala at sinikap kong balewalain.

So nagresearch ako. Buong gabi kong ituon ang mata ko sa screen ng Laptop ko at pinagtiyagaang basahin isa isa.

1. Your hormones go wild.

When you fall in love, your cheeks flush, your heart beats faster, your palms are sweaty and your head starts spinning. This is all thanks to a rush of chemicals and hormones that flood your brain and body when you fall in love.
This leaves you with feelings of euphoria similar to an endorphin-induced “runner’s high.”
There’s nothing you can do about this; love physically makes you crazy.

Yes. Definitely! But as for now I'll considered it a false alarmed. No way I'm feeling this to someone who is bound to be with God. I'm just over reacting. It's nothing.

I checked on my planner and it seems that everything I wrote on my list for a week had been crossed out. Except for the "Cafe" row which means work.

Halos isang linggo na at patagal ng patagal mas lalo akong nacoconfuse sa mga nangayayari.

May mga nagbago na alam ko na hindi lang ako ang nakakakita. Tatay Bert meaningful stares, his confusing words of wisdom, the way he smirked and shook his head, the way faked a cough and turned his look to me..everything he was doing making me feel that I'm not alone who sensed this stupid difference Johann showing us .

He was up to something that nobody's knows about.

Sa bawat pagpasok ko sa Cafe para akong lumulutang. Ang utak ko na hindi tumitigil sa kakaisip hanggang gabi. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even do something without thinking of him. I hate it and it's bothering me too much.

If this feeling inside my heart has something to do with love then maybe I need to asked God to slap me hard so I would be able to wake up on this kind of stupid nightmare.

A Cafe crew is inlove with a Seminarian.

Pathetic.

Wicked.

I wanted to spend my whole day in here. To talked to God so He would help me in this situation. I need his forgiveness. His power. His wisdom. But every time I closed my eyes I could see his face smiling sweetly to me.

Am i possessed?

Was the devil already consuming me?

I'm in His house but I'm still mentally absent from His presence.

What happened to me?

Why I became like this?

Nagulat ako sa tunog ng phone ko. I saw Tatay number on my screen. I freaked out realizing it's nearly 9 and I'm still here inside the Church confessing my sin.

"Papunta na ako."

pinatay ko na agad at di na hinayaan siyang makapagsalita pa.

Dali dali na akong dumiretso sa Cafe.

Sinasadya nga siguro ng tadhana para pahirapan ang utak ko. Timing naman ang pagdating ko amg paglabas nila ng Seminary.

Dali dali akong naglakad wishing they wouldn't see me. Unfortunately they did.