LOVING A SEMINARIAN

CHAPTER XVIII CHOOSING HAPPINESS

JOYCE

The day is special. I don't know why but I could see everything cleared and more drawn. The sun, this is the first time I saw it yellow. The way it strikes the window pane was something very wonderful to see. The chirps of the birds from a Mango Tree in our backyard was more louder now. Para itong musikang nagsasaliw sa hampas ng hangin sa mga dahon. Ang sarap sarap pakinggan. Ang tunog ng mga sasakyan papalabas sa mga garahe ng kapit bahay, mga pag uusap ng mga matatandang nagdidilig ng halaman sa kanilang garden. The sounds of barking dogs, the taho seller, the aroma of a coffee...everything that I never experienced or got notice before became something special to me now.

New.

Refreshing.

Heartwarming.

I couldn't stop my lips to smile. To move apart and parted wide. To giggle in my thoughts and remember the yesterday. I maybe going crazy but you know it feels so good and I love it. I fucking love it.

Its not an ordinary day. Its not day I used of. It is something. Something that is so special. I'll admit, there's still fear, doubts and confusion but what matter most is I'm happy. I'm choosing to be happy.

I passed by in the near bakery. I bought cookies and bread for the kids. Yeah them. Been so long since I visited. Where Jeff..I had met. I have to thank that guy if not with him none of this would happened. I'm so excited for today. Nervous but excited.

The kids came running towards me. Excited as I am. Embracing me and telling me how much they'd expecting me. I talked to them for a while asking how's everything. Gave them the cookies and bread before saying goodbye.

That wall, the word has already taken off. Those bold word painted in it last week. Those harsh truthful words. Thanks for someone who removed it. I'm glad they did.

I smiled again. I'm getting use with this smiling alone thing. I think it will be my hobby from now on.

The seminary gate. Okay, I'm not going to say something about it.

I could see Tatay in distance. Coffee mug on his hand moving it towards his lips. His foot stretching to another chair showing the world how relax he is. That old man. I still couldn't believed he suffered that much for him to stay contended as he was now.

He saw me and his smirked appeared in his lips again.

"Hi..good morning.."

Did I say hi?

I smiled again thinking what's going on with his mind right now.

Sinubukan kong umiwas. Reaching the door and about to get in.

"Hello.."

"Late na ako..kailangan ko ng magmadaling magbukas.."

Dali dali akong pumasok at tiningnan lang siyang nakatawa. Mamaya dapat ihanda ko na ang mga sagot ko.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko. Sinaksak don ang binili niya sa aking headset. Scrolling down my phone and press the play button.

Because of that song I heard from the restaurant I decided to store more to my phone. Ngayon parang magiging paborito ko na rin ang pakikinig sa music. I wore it on my ear and place my phone inside my apron pocket.

Theres a song that inside of my soul
There's the one I have tried to write over and over again