Change of Heart

Chapter 31

Footsteps approached from down the hall, and my body tensed. Alex. He can't see these, these scars...this chain. But I can't hide them from him. He'll notice for sure. Just before he walked in, I threw a blanket over me and made myself into a ball.

"Here, I brought you some...uh, what are you doing?" Alex asked curiously.

I stuttered trying to think of an excuse. "I-I was...cold."

"Come on, it's not that cold." I could feel him tugging on the blanket. Pulling it back, I kept it over me for the time being. "What's wrong with you? You're acting weird." He jerked the blanket even harder causing me to lose my grip.

"Wait!" I threw my arm up taking a hold of the blanket again. Using his other hand, he took a hold of my wrist. I winced when his hand hit the bottom of the scars.

Alex straightened my arm, and looked at my arm with such an intense stare. "How did you get these? They weren't here before I left." He looked over at me, and I just pushed my lips together. He widened his eyes. For a second, I didn't understand, but then I remembered. "That chain..."

I looked away hiding my face. "It just appeared. I closed my eyes for a second, and..."

"It was Zander, wasn't it?" He asked as he released my wrist. Looking over at him, I could see his body shake. "Dammit!"

"Alex-" I started but was cut off.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see it sooner. The way you acted earlier, it was probably due to one of his threats." I opened my mouth again, but he continued. "I'm going to find Alek, stay here." Alex leaned down, his lips about to meet mine. Just before his lips touched mine, my body moved on its own, and pushed itself back away from him.

I could feel tears streaming down my face as I shook my head. "N-no...t-that wasn't me..." Placing my hand over my mouth, I remembered Zander's lips against mine, almost devoured Alex's touch.

Even Alex was in shock, but not only that, he showed a look of pain and sorrow in his eyes. He let out a small breath and stood straight.

"Alex," my voice was soft, just short of a whisper, "it's not me...I swear.." I buried my face in my hands. Why is this happening? Why!? I don't want this!

My hands were pulled away from my face, tightly gripped by Alex's. "I know this isn't you. We'll figure this out." I tried forcing my fingers to wrap around his, but they only did the opposite. Both of my hands pulled away all on their own and more tears fell. I bowed my head hiding it away from Alex. He landed a quick kiss on my forehead. "I'll be back as fast as I can...I love you." And like that, he was gone.

Even though he wasn't here, I wanted so desperately to say it, to say those three words. My lips were glued together and I couldn't even say one word. I tangled my fingers in between the strands of my hair. Why am I resenting Alex so much? WHY!? Dammit! It hurts so much...but even worse I'm hurting him too. Why'd it have to turn out this way...?