Change of Heart

Chapter 37.5

Alex's POV

**

How the hell did I end up all the way out here? What good is staring at an empty lake at this hour? Shit, I can't think straight! That damn Zander keeps getting the best of me! I can't shake him. But, Serine...I wonder if she's alright. I really screwed up. Why of all times did I have to push her away? If anything, she need me more than anything right now.

I began to yell at myself, picking up rocks and throwing them far into the lake.

"So this is where you were hiding?" I didn't bother turning around. It was pointless. Without having to look, I could already see Alek's smug look on his face.

Throwing another rock."How were you even able to find me? You're no tracker."

He stepped closer. The sound of his feet scraped against the dirt rang in my ears. "No, but I know a tracker. She's the one that helped me find you." Alek rested his hand on my shoulder and I just pushed it off.

"Forget that, why the hell are you here?" I grabbed him by the collar, closing the distance between our faces. "Weren't you with Serine? Why would you leave her alone?"

"That's my line, and you damn well know it." He gripped my hand and pulled it away. But in the end, he was right. Why am I spending my time throwing rocks rather than staying by her side? "Besides, I didn't leave her alone. A friend is watching her."

I hesitated. "Is she...alright?" Surely he already spoke to her about the chains. I can't imagine how she would've taken it.

"She's safe, I'm not sure if I would say she's fine though." Alek walked past me and picked up a rock.

"What do you mean by that?"

As he threw the rock into the lake, I watched as it glided against the water. "Do you have any idea how upset, and worried sick she is right now?"

Damn. I knew it. "I messed up." Clenching my fists, my whole body tensed.

"What happened between the two of you?" Alek's face was so serious, it was as if he was a different person. Someone entirely new from the Alek I know.

Shaking my head, I picked up another rock, and threw it into the lake. "Nothing really."

He ran up, and punched me square in the face. From the surprise impact, I stumbled back a bit. I deserved it, after all. "Dammit Alex, why do you-"

"I WASN'T THERE FOR HER!" I exploded. I didn't want to hear him lecture me about any of this, and the words just came flooding out. Alek stopped and just stared at me. "I...wasn't there. I'm the reason why she's suffering, and I only pushed her away...I can't see her now, not like this..." Falling back, I landed in the piles of rocks and just stared up at the sky. "Alek...I don't know what to do anymore."

He scoffed at me as he took a seat beside me. "Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?"

I laid my arm over my eyes. Inside I felt like crying, but if I did, I didn't want it to show. "It's because of Zander. That bastard is the one behind all of this...he's destroying everything I have...and not just me, but Serine, too. I don't want her caught up in anything involving him." But I already let that happen..

"You really are a sorry excuse for a demon." He let out a small laugh.

"That's not funny at all, Alek."

"I know. But still, as your older brother it's my job to pick on you even at times of distress." He stopped for a moment, continuing his words a little more seriously. "Though seeing as how it's Zander, I can understand. But the only way to free Serine from is to kill him, and you know that." Kill him, how? He's practically immortal from the last time I fought him. How do I even kill someone like that?

Sitting up, I stood to my feet. I stared out into the horizon, just imagining the satisfaction of taking him down once and for all. "I want to kill him with my own hands. I will kill that bastard...even if it costs me my life." I wasn't going to let him continue turning Serine into one of his little toys of enjoyment just to get back at me.

"That's the Alex I know!" Alek laughed pulling himself up by grabbing the back of my shirt. I stumbled back bumping into him.

"Hey! What the hell was that for?"

He shrugged. "I needed help up."

I gave a small smirk. "Who's a sorry excuse for a demon now?"

"Well enough of that, I think it's about time you made up with Serine. You can't stay away forever if you're wanting to protect her." All the tension came back, and I frowned again. What do I even say to her when I see her?

"Go on ahead, I'm going to stay here for a little longer." I still needed to clear my head, even if just a little longer.

"Alex, you don't know but Serine-"

"She's probably asleep by now anyways. I'll be back before she wakes up." Looking him in the eyes, I was dead serious. Whatever it was, I didn't want to hear it, not right now. Not if it means hearing how upset she's been. I don't know how I could handle that right now.

Alek shrugged as he walked away. "Then I'll tell you another time." He took a few more steps before stopping again. "One more thing, Alex. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I think it was good you met Serine. In a way, she's changed you. I can see it. You're not so temperamental all the time anymore, you're actually setting your mind on someone other than yourself. Do me a favor, don't lose her." Hearing his words really put a toll on me. This time the tears really began to fall. I don't want to lose Serine, not now, and not ever. "Don't lose this feeling you have now. I don't want you turning out like me in the end." And with that, he was gone.

He's right, I really am a sorry excuse for a demon. No wonder why I hate demons to the core. My body may be that of a demon's, but I never want to lose this heart over to their side. Every time I think about it, I feel as if my heart is slowly losing to the demon inside me. If anything, becoming this beast only made me become more angry, more violent. Until I met Serine, I never realized how much my heart resembled a human's. I'm afraid now that if I lose her, will my heart become tainted? Will I lose all feelings that a human should? Will I truly fall victim to completely becoming the thing I hate most?