Change of Heart

Chapter 58

**

My body feels cold, almost paralyzed. A warm hand was wrapped around mine. I could hear voices in the background. Who's there? I can't tell. My head keeps spinning leaving me unable to focus. My eyes slowly opened. A bright light blinded me, and I groaned.

"Looks who's awake." That was, Jake's voice. Right?

My eyes opened wider, and my vision cleared itself. Alex sat at my side while Jake stood behind him. My hand was squished tighter, a sigh of relief from Alex. "Serine, thank God you're alive." His voice was a bit shattered, as if he had been crying...

"Where...am I?"

"You're in the hospital." Jake said quickly. "You-"

Cutting him off, Alex started. "Do you remember anything?" Shaking my head a bit, he rephrased himself. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I...remember..." There actually wasn't much I remembered at the moment. I knew it was all there, but my mind may have just been keeping it out of reach. "Jake told me..about a dream, and...I went searching, and found you..." And from then on, it's all a blank. "And then, I woke up here."

"I see, so you don't remember what happened."

"What, did happen?" I asked earnestly.

Alex shook his head, his frown even sadder. "I don't even know. I...wasn't there."

"He was the one who found you." Jake blurted out hovering over Alex's shoulder. "He said you were-"

"We don't need to talk about that now." He held my hand with both of his, covering it in warmth completely. "Could you give us a minute? I want to talk with her alone." Jake was silent, and only gave a nod before walking out the door. As he stared at his hands, I lifted my other hand, gazing at the bandage wrapped around it. What happened to my hand? I can't recall a thing.. "Serine."
Averting my attention back, I looked over at Alex. He bowed his head, looking down at the ground. He was quiet. "Alex?"

"I'm sorry. I know lately that's all I've been saying to you, I just, haven't been there for you." He stopped for a moment, shaking his head. I wanted to say something, but, what could I say? I might only make him feel worse... "Jake told me you two spoke after you ran out. And he told you about my dream, which led you to come search for me. At that time, I didn't come after you because, well...you actually came back."

My heart skipping a beat, my arms tensed up. My own grip got tighter on his hand. "I, came back? That...no, I was at my house, and-"

Alex cut me off, continuing with what he was saying. "You told Jake I left you, right? Well, in your words, I was just gone." So, Jake actually understood what I meant. I don't know why, but it made me a little shocked. "After he told me that, I realized something was off. Because, around the same time, when you came back, you were the one who left me."

I left him? I would never even consider leaving him..."I was at home...that couldn't.."

"I know. It wasn't until after Jake found me though that I figured it out and went searching for you, but by then, I was too late."

For some reason a lake came into my mind, with Alex staring out into the horizon. Could this be my memory? It seems too familiar to just be some kind of day dream... "Hey, Alex...by any chance, were you ever standing next to a lake?"

Alex narrowed his eyes, looking a bit concerned. "How did you know?"

"Because...I think that's where I found you, but.." I tried remember more, but my head only began to ache. "There's something that's...missing..."

"Don't push yourself." Placing his hand on my forehead, I rested mine over his. "Just rest for a while. Right now, that's the best thing to do." He's right. I can't really do much else, at least not in this state. I nodded. In return, he showed a light smile. He softly placed his lips against mine and I instantly pushed mine back against his. It felt like it's been a lifetime since I last felt his lips against mine when in reality, it wasn't all that long ago. Slowly pulling away, Alex removed his hand from my forehead. "Get some sleep now. I'll go and see if Jake is still out there."

"Alright." As he pulled his hand away from mine, he started towards the door. Before he walked out, I called out to him. "Alex.." He turned back around, and it triggered the butterflies in my stomach. I gave a small smile as I shut my eyes and finished. "I..love you." I'm not sure if he heard me being that it was only just a whisper.