Change of Heart

Chapter 88

**

I woke up again in Alex's room, the two sitting on each side of me. Unable to tell how much time passed, Jake spoke as if I've been sleeping for days. "So you're finally awake?" I placed my hands over my eyes. Shaking my head, I began crying again.

"I never knew..." My voice trembled behind my sobs. It wasn't even a whisper, and yet it was still heard.

"What are you talking about?" Alex asked, pulling my hands from my eyes.

"Caden...Caden told me everything." I shook my head again, biting my lip.

Alex and Jake both spoke in unison. "You saw him?" I only nodded in response. Pulling my arms away from Alex, I wiped the tears from my eyes beginning to sit up. I almost forgot about the wound in my side until it stung me trying to get up. Even my arms were beginning to ache through the bandages.

"Serine, you shouldn't be moving around yet." Grabbing my shoulder, Alex started holding me down, and I slowly fell back to the bed. Wiping my own tears was pointless when all they did was fall again. Alex sat next to me on the bed, pulling my body close to his. My head was rested on his leg and he placed his hand on my head as his held my hand with the other.

Just laying there like that, I let it all out without holding back even the slightest. It was to painful to keep bottled up inside. Knowing that Caden had been doing it for years only made it that much worse.

**

I ended up falling asleep again from all the crying I had done. When I woke up, I found myself wrapped in Alex's arms, with him sound asleep. Looking around the room, Jake hadn't been in sight. I couldn't be sure if he had left or not.

Slowly sitting up, I realized my side didn't hurt as bad as before, but it did still sting quite a bit. Once I was up and out of the bed, I went straight for the bathroom.

As I washed my hands, I stared back at myself through my own reflection. My hair was unbrushed, sticking up in a few places. My face looked puffy, almost swollen, with bags under my eyes and red markings around them from all the crying. Even the blue in my eyes looked more tainted rather than pure. I looked away. I couldn't even look at myself right now...at the mess I've become.

Once I finished, I went to the kitchen for a glass of water only to find Jake leaning against the sink. "Jake..." I said softly trying not to surprise him much.

"What do you want?" He barked at me, with annoyance in his voice.

Several things popped into my head considering what Caden had told me. The first being the message he wanted me to give to him. Another one just behind that...well, I decided to ask him. "Before, when I asked you if you knew the name Zeke..." I stopped for a second when I noticed his body flinch. Made me even more nervous to even bring it up.. "You said he left before reaching high school, Caden said the same thing, but, what you said didn't match what Caden told me. You said you didn't know-"

"I know what I said!" Jake shouted as he punched the counter causing me to jolt back a bit. He let out a sigh, bringing down his voice. "I know what I said...I lied."

"But why?"

Jake was silent, as if he was debating whether or not to talk about it. "After I left, I couldn't even forgive myself. I had to forget the past, forget everything. Caden, Zeke, and Bryce. Those three names are what cause my pain to come back. When you even mentioned Zeke's name...it all came back. I tried hiding that away by saying I didn't know him." He turned around, facing me. "In the end though, no matter how hard I try to escape my past, it always end up sneaking behind and biting me right in the ass."

I honestly wasn't sure what to even say to that...something that couldn't possibly make him feel worse. I ended up altering the subject. "Jake. Caden, he...he wanted me to give you a message. He said-"

"Don't say it!" Cutting me off again, his voice raised for the second time. "I can't hear it...not after leaving him here alone for years, leaving him to shoulder our burden all on his own. Being able to get out of this town, I was able to leave it all behind for a while, forget what had happened. I actually did at one point, but Caden...there's just no way he could have stayed in this town and forget what happened. In the end, he suffered far worse than I did. So if he wants to say thank you for being there, or he's sorry for whatever reason, or even that he forgives me or not for leaving, I don't want to hear it!"

Jake ran out the front door storming right past me. My heart pounded faster, making me feel suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. Just seeing him react this way makes me wish I never even brought it up.