Tamisra techno X oc X dream

~11~numb?

~trigger warning : gore~ thats really it

i was walking around l'manburg  everyone seemingly awake, i kept walking around looking for one person in particular eret. i saw him just in the distance i was about to run up to him but wilbur called me over before i could. he was with everyone and im guessing eret was coming this way too.

we where all in the van and we was asking everyone if they knew how to fight no one said anything. eret had finally spoke up "ohh i know tristan can fight." i looked at him with a stare and if looks could kill he would be 6 feet under i saw him shift in place probably regretting that he said it.

wilbur looked at me in confusion now the sweet innocent girl act was ruined i could kill eret right now for messing everything up. "so you can fight" he asked cocking an eyebrow. "yes boss i can fight want to see my skill up close, i can fight eret." i said motioning my hand towards him, "since he knows i can fight he might know my skills, and what i did to sapnap the other day." 

he looked panicked he knows what i did to sapnap dream must have told him after all he is on their side. "i dont think that would be necessary  tristan." he wanted to get out of the situation badly i can tell in his voice. " no it will be totally necessary u want my boss to see my fighting skills and you dragged me into this its only fair that i drag you into this as well. and plus we can do whatever weapon you want you can have iron and i will get stone." 

~timeskip~

i went mining fro iron for all the weapons eret can pick, i told him i would use stone and i am. i called everyone back into the van and pull all the tools on the table he looked at me scared but i wasn't going to fold. i cant.. i am so close.. so close.. maybe i can get them back, and they can help me im feeling things that i dont want to feel, and i need to be put back in place.

  i cant give up they cant be gone i have had them as long as i can remember and they never left they wouldn't leave they are not like everyone else. maybe if im better. maybe they left because i wasn't good enough. whats wrong with me no one ever stays. if i never get them back i have nothing left i gave up on everything. i gave up on family because my brother, i gave up on love because of techno, friends cause of well the whole village they never liked me they only used me. people are so judgmental, if they knew who i really am they would call me a monster for killing people but those people told me the same thing no matter who it is. the last thing i want  in the world is to hurt people, but its the same im tired of everything he was the one who understood listened to everything i had to say. he comforted me. now everyone wants to get away from me once they know who i really am. but they dont know how that makes me feel. its hard to be alone to numb yourself to get away from the pain of being left the pain of loving someone so much it hurts. why did he leave was i not good enough fro techno why couldn't he leave me earlier to save me from the way i missed him. i hate the way i dont hate him not even a little bit he can do whatever to me and i wont mind it i wont care. because deep down i will never be enough for everyone for techno, for my family, not even for the voices. why does it hurt so much to be left alone, to hate myself so much that i numb myself so i wont feel it anymore. to feel anything. and felling numb is worse than feeling sad or mad its the feeling of being drowned. and i dont want to feel that anymore i need some thing back i need techno or the voices.

im doing this for myself i know its selfish but is it so selfish to stay hurting to keep other people happy. when they never did anything for me i need the voices or i will need to face the face that im all alone in this world. so maybe if im better. maybe if i fight better, shed more blood the voices will comeback. i need to put it to the test i need to fight eret no matter what i just need a bit of blood.

eret picked up the sword, guessing he wants to fight with that as he picked up the iron i picked up the stone. "ok so im down to fight with any rules so if you have any eret and boss that you would like to add please say now." im ready to do this my adrenaline kill kick in any moment as we where all walking out of the van i couldn't help but notice everyone is here. i saw dream, george and sapnap on the top of the wall, in the corner of my eye. im guessing while i went mining eret must have told them about about little duel.

i was getting ready to take my fighting stance when wilbur interrupted me wile i was streaching my arms "rule one: no killing. rule two:when i say stop you must stop. rule three: the fight will only be five minutes. and other than that i will count you two down." i nodded at him still stretching a bit.i took my stance ready for him to count down.

"one" yes im ready for this

"two" its been a while since i fought sapnap

"three" my adenine took over but no voices.

"go" i waked abound eret slowly closing in om him he tried to strike my gut but i moved to kick his leg. he lost balance almost immediately and went came back up. i hit his foot and it went right trough he yelped in pain, and tried to stab my face this time  i moves out just in time and pulled out my sword from his foot. i sliced his collar bone as i was aiming for his neck wilbur was looking at me with a burning  as if he was focused on something. both the boys were looking at me in amusement like they had never seen anything like it. 

i was drought back to reality when i felt the cold metal against my neck. eret looked at me with a smile. i looked back up to the wall when i saw dream shake his head disappointed and a pit grew in my stomach i didnt want him to think of me as weak. next thing i new he jumped down leaving l'manburg. i was not about to take shit from eret he would be the last person i would take shit from. anger was running trough all my veins now i pushed the sword away from my neck and pushed hum down on the ground he was laying on his back looking up at me with pleading eyes. 

he knew he fucked up as i picked up my sword to end him i heard small whispers i looked around confused and no one said anything. it must be them they came back but i could barley hear them as i was about to finish him off i heard wilbur telling me to stop. as much as i wanted to kill him i knew i couldn't he was supposed to be my ally and i cant blow my cover. the whispers left my head went quiet again.

"that is enough tristan you have proved yourself. if you dont mind me asking where did you learn to fight?" fuck he must be onto me. "well at my village i used to train with my friend in case if we ever got in trouble." he just hummed in response "well do you mind if you train us we are not as talented as you are." as much as i hated helping the enemy i couldn't blow my cover  "of course boss whatever you need i will do. i even made a potato farm for you" i said with a bright cheeky cover still not wanting to blow my cover.

i heard tommy mumble to tubbo "just like he would do" who were they talking about i wondered to myself. before i could get lost on my thoughts tubbo spoke up "hey will... do you smell something burning?"

~a/n~ 

whoa second update today thats weird ha, do you all like when i give a song recommendation at the beginning of the chapter i would continue doing it but i dont want to annoy you all. make sure to eat/drink something goodnight/day to my guys, gals, and non binary pals :]    didn't proof read lolz