- "Oh, just shut up and smash your lips into mines, kinda like the bruised feeling you're leaving on them." She says placing her thumb on my lower lip, while touching my upper lip with her green, long nail.
- "Aren't they already full of unconventi...
"Tell me!" I say annoyed! "Don't yell at me!" She says getting up protecting herself. "I can't believe your dad is the one i was searching for so long!" She says flipping her hair out of nervousness.
She looks at me without any emotion on her face waiting for me to act. "Wha-! Wait! It's not me who fucked your dad, it's Clara, my twin sister THAT COMMITTED SUICIDE THREE YEARS AGO!" She says almost yelling. "Don't dare put any blame on her, and i didn't even know it was your dad the horndog she killed herself for. I wasnt there that one evening when they came for dinner, i was hanging out with my girlfriend at that time." She says annoyed, she looks at me for a couple of seconds waiting for an answer. I don't act. "Whatever, it's not your fault and i don't wanna get mad at you or worse!" She says leaving, slamming the door behind her.
I can't process what just happened. I start feeling numb not knowing how to react. I look out the window. She sits on the house terrace with a cigarette in her right hand looking at the cars passing by on the street. I thought she gave up on smoking a while ago.
Suddenly my dad goes to her. They talk, i don't have any idea what they're even talking about. My dad looks with a scared stare at her. I leave the room, running the stairs down.
As i open the front door i see her yelling at him. "IT WAS JUST YOUR FUCKING FAULT! SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN STILL ALIVE IF IT WASNT FOR YOU! You fucker! Finneas told you, 'LEAVE HER ALONE', 'DONT MAKE HER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!' YOU HAD A FAMILY YOU DUMBASS! She was WAY to weak AND young for all of that...but you didn't gave a shit. 'Let's fuck, no matter what or who it is!' i can swear that's your mindset! FUCK OFF." She says heading to the car, ive never seen my dad like that before. And the anger she's letting out hurts me...
"And be careful, it won't end up like that! You'll pay for what you did. I'll never forgive you! Imma take revenge!" She says throwing away her cigarette, going to the car. She pulls the car window down. "You coming?" She asks me softly trying to calm down and not yell at me. I'm getting in. I've never seen her like that.
"Is that your dad?" She asks with a sigh. looking at me. "Yes, he's my dad." I say trying to understand what's happening. "He's such a fucker! I was searching for him for so long! I swore i'm gonna take revenge of him! He's gonna pay for everything! For my sister committing it, for the nights she cried and for the way he threw her away like a trash, just like nothing ever happened! People like HIM DESERVE TO DIE!" She says hitting the steering wheel really hard.
"Calm down, Billie!" i say trying to calm her down. She doesn't seem to hear me anymore. "Pull the car!" I tell her. She looks at me and pulls over at the gas station.
"Calm the fuck down! You can't drive like that!" i tell her while she puts her head on the steering wheel. She looks so broken! "You have to calm down, if you act like that you won't win anything. I don't even know the story yet." I say.
"I don't wanna talk about that right now." she says looking out the window. "Let's go." She adds after two minutes starting to drive. We finally arrive home. She was silent the entire way there. She gets out the car and walks instantly to her house. "Billie!" I yell. "What?" She asks. "Please, PLEASE! tell me the truth!" I tell walking behind her. "...ok! Come in! It's not your fault. you deserve to know the truth" She says taking my hand while opening the front door.
She walks to the fridge and takes out a bottle of cold water. I sit on the coach. She sits next to me. "So, we moved to highland park almost 4 years ago." She says looking at the floor opening the bottle.
"My mom was looking for a job, that's how she meet your mom, at her new job. Anyhow, I had a twin sister named Clara Isabella O'connell. She was just like me, but she was like...a normal girl. Like...she wasn't intersexual, she was also straight and more charming than me, i was always the asocial from the two of us. She always used to be daddy's lil girl if you know what i mean. Anyhow, we never really got along too well. After the dinner she told me she had interests in your dad, i didn't even know how he looked like. We started getting closer after that one moment, i was happy i finally get along well with my twin sister." She says looking right to the window taking a sip of water. She looks back at me.
"Look, that's her." She says pulling her phone out showing me a picture oh them two.
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"The one with black hair." She says. "You two look very similar...you look just like her with black hair! I see why my mom recognized you as her." I say looking at the photo then back at her.
"Yeah...i want her to be stuck with me forever, thats my way of remembering her. i look in the mirror and see her, it somehow assures me she's still here. Anyhow, we weren't that similar tho, she would always look for older guys and get into a serious relationship with them, and i never understood why, i mean, for her, it was never for the money. When i'd ask her she would tell me she just feels safe with a older guy. We took that photo two days before she did it. I miss her so much." She says looking at the photo with a cute and in pain smile.
"nothing could ever change a thing. And only if it would have been happened by an accident, but it isn't...She got in love with your dad, Finneas told me he talked to him about that, but he would always be like 'I love her' blah, blah, blah. So...ugh! i hate him. Now look, she's gone, he's still happy and ok tho." she says throwing her phone on the other side of the sofa.
"I know it hurts, my mom told me you were the one hanging out with my dad. That's why i was that angry at you." I say. "No, never. Pff, I don't have daddy issues. i don't even like mens" She says ironically smiling looking at me.
She suddenly gets a call from someone named 'Elise'. "Wait, i have to pick up this call." She say leaving to the bathroom. i'm not the type to spy, but i have to. I go close enough to hear what she was talking about.
"Yes, yes! I got it, but you told me i can see her today! I fucking miss her!" she says on a irritated and sad tone. "Yeah, i got it, things were really messed up today, and the fact that you told me i can come over then you not being there, pretty fucked up, don't you think so? i literally do everything i can!" She asks ironically.
"Ok, fine. See you tomorrow! Bye" She says. i could hear her footsteps coming towards the door.
I instantly run to the couch pretending i've not heard anything. she comes out the bathroom, closing the door behind her still paying attention to her phone. She notices me. "Are you ok?" She looks confused. "Yeah, i just-, you know, i wanted to-" i dont even know what to say. I look to the front door. "Im-, I wanted to leave. Wanted to give you some time to calm down." I say walking toward the door. "Yeah...i have to get ready anyways for the meet with the label..." she says confused with a sigh.
sorry for not updating, but i was at my worst lately, but tomorrow is my bday and i'm better rn, so i had to update smth.
