- "Oh, just shut up and smash your lips into mines, kinda like the bruised feeling you're leaving on them." She says placing her thumb on my lower lip, while touching my upper lip with her green, long nail.
- "Aren't they already full of unconventi...
Her finger going down my face in the most gentle way possible and her hands stroking my body as she tongue kisses me. It starts with lovable touches and tones of 'missed you' kisses, turning into heaven.
Not even talking about sexual attraction anymore, it's obvious she missed me that way already. Her print tells it for her. Every time I touch it she gasps with her breath intensifying. she gets up from me unhooking her bra. As she does it I see something. "Is that a tattoo?" I ask softly touching her thighs. She gets goosebumps as I do it. "It is, you had my body in your head, didn't you?" she asks smiling.
I nod.
She comes down topping me, kissing my neck going down to my chest, then it hits me. "Billie, stop!" I say. She stops. "...everything's fine?" she asks confused taking distance. "I can't do this!" I say. "Why? I missed you, so did you!" she says furrowing her eyebrows. "We're not together anymore. I can't please you just for one time then move on. You'll leave again and I'll be left all alone with my feelings AGAIN. It's not even about Megan this time." I say.
"Are you sure that's what you really want?" she asks looking me straight in the eyes. I don't know...I DONT FUCKING KNOW!
"Fine," she says after a couple of seconds. She takes on her shirt leaving to the door. She opens it stepping outside. "Billie..." I say before she gets to close the door after her. She looks at me. "...yes?" she asks with a dead look having her hand on the door handle. "please don't leave...again, please!" I say putting my face in my palms not even daring to look her in the eyes. I suddenly feel her hugging me.
"If you want me to stay, I'll stay." she says calmly then takes my face in her hands. "You're so important to me, but I can't stand it when people ask me to leave. I'm used to it," she says wiping off my tears. "Billie, just know that I care for you but there can't be any sexual attraction anymore. I, I mean we, have to move on with our lives. It doesn't work anymore. You left and came back, my feelings aren't here anymore. Please don't take it wrong, I still care for you, but please don't try to tease me or make me fall for it again. I have to finally move on. And please, don't tell Megan about it or our relationship!" I mumble. She just looks at me in disappointment and confusion. "I get it...but can I...kiss you one last time before giving up on anything?" she asks looking me straight in the eyes.
I didn't have to say anything, my body did it for me. It was the longest and most romantic kiss we've ever had.
She looks me in the eyes. "Thank you for everything, baby." she tells me caressing my check and eventually leaving right after.
She left. I truly wanted her but it's better that way. I can't play with love anymore.
The day moved on. It's already 6 pm. I met up with Mi and told her everything. She told me it's my decision, but if I wanted it that way it should stay that way forever. It sounds sad, I keep thinking about that kiss. So sweet and needy, I can't get over it and won't get over it. I hate me for acting that way but it's better for both. She'll leave anyway.
"Chris, I'm home!" I hear while looking up on Billies Instagram. She posted something that made me regret my latest decisions but that's life.
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