Approaching Her - Billie Eilish

Chapter 39

Light. Where? What the fuck?

I keep asking myself while opening my eyes realizing I'm not home. "You woke up." a voice says. "Why the fuck am I at your place, Billie?" I ask her getting up while rubbing my eyes. "Because your ass got drunk as a buddy and fell asleep at the bar...maybe?" she says sitting on the other side of the bed.

Does that mean we slept together, in the same bed, in her room? Jesus...

"Why are you so stunned?" she asks cutely furrowing her eyebrows. "I don't really know how I got here." I say trying to get to reality. My head hurts so bad. "Just calm down. You were here SO many times actually." she says chuckling drinking from a cup.

"What do you have there?" I ask curiously and sleepy, being propped in one of my hands on the bed. "Coffee," she says. "Should I get you some?" she asks in an honest manner rising her eyebrows while pointing with her thumb to the kitchen.

"No, can I take a sip from yours?" I ask. "Amm, sure, here you have it." she says handing me the cup. "I didn't expect you to-, you know, still be so close and stuff..." she says in a very shy manner. "What do you mean? I just drunk from your cup of coffee, why should I get disgusted of the girl that I got fucked by for months straight." I say trying to keep it calm. Right then it hits me. I turn red as a tomato.

She looks at me in such a cute way, I can't even describe it. A face she never did before.

"I just...I'm surprised I have you here right now. It's for the fact that I never thought I'm going to see you in my bedroom, on my bed ever again." she says blushing. "Billie...i..." I try to say turning serious. "No, I get it but you don't understand, Christine. It's pretty hard, I'm not the romantic type of shit. You know?" she says massaging her forehead out of stress while chuckling. "It's fine Billie. But keep in mind that it's over." I say getting up, wanting to leave. "Yeah..." she says getting up from the bed.

She follows me to the front door, walking towards it, wanting to open it for me. She opens the door and gives me space to leave. I look at her, she looks me in the eyes. Silence occurs. She puts her hand on my cheek, softly caressing it, after a couple of seconds she comes closer giving me a sweet kiss. I don't oppose it. "Billie..." I say disappointed. "I know, I'm sorry." she says blushing. "Just...", "it's fine, I got it. It won't happen again." she says giving me space.

I go further stepping outside. I look back, she's still looking at me. I feel like I can't help myself to not run to her and kiss her like there's no tomorrow right now, but I can't. IT'S OVER!

"Billie..." I say as she closes the door. The sun is so warm. A warm 7 pm, summer sun.

"What is it?" she asks opening the door again. "About last night...thank you for getting me home..." I say giving her a friendly smile. The sun gets straight on her face...her eyes.

"No problem. That's what friends do, isn't it?" she says with a sad smile. "Yeah." I say nodding. "They do..." I add. I eventually leave. I hear the door closing behind me.

Megan's car isn't in the driveway. As I get home I call her name but she appears to not be home. After a couple of minutes, I decided to call her but I can't find my phone. I search for it through my pockets but seems to not be there. Maybe Billie knows where it is. The fact that fate wants me to go back to her place.

As I get there I just open the front door. I get in and hear a sound from her room. The door is open. The sounds are moans. She really would rather do it by herself than asking me for it or teasing me. She's pleasing herself, she's so concentrated on her thoughts that she doesn't even see me looking at her from the living room while doing it. The fact that she doesn't even need to watch porn, her mind does it for her.

I get wet, fuck it I sit on the couch and just look at her. I have to do it without her noticing. I put my hand in my pants but get it off right after. It's not ok. Her moans and hard dick get me so far and wet. She keeps murmuring something but I don't understand it at all. At one point I hear my name which made me so much needier. She's at her high. She didn't notice me. I get up as if nothing happened and as if I was never here. I need her so much right now but I have to control myself on that.

I wait a couple of seconds then I see her coming. She freezes. "What..." she clears her throat. "What are you doing here?" she asks guiltily. "I came to get my phone. I mean I wanted to ask you about it, I can't find it." I say. "It's in my car" she says. "Come, I'll give it to you." she says walking to the front door having me behind her.

"Here you have it." she says giving it to me. She looks like she feels the guiltiest.

I have to take the next step into our friendship. We have to go over this blockade.

"Are you free tonight?" I ask. "I'm free the entire night. Why?" she asks confused and surprised. "I would like to go have dinner in the city. Would you like to join?" I ask smiling. "Oh...yeah, sure! I'd love to!" she says with a wide smile on her face. It's obvious she's happy.

"Let's go!" I say. "Wait, but what does Megan think about it?" Billie asks. "She isn't even home, I don't have any idea where she is at." I say shrugging my shoulders. "Fine, come in." she says getting into the car. We first go to the open restaurant on the beach to eat.

"I-, I'm pretty surprised. When I just lost all of my hope." she says drinking from the glass with the straw in front of her. "Hope for what?" I ask smiling. "Yeah...our friendship I mean." she says clearing her throat. "Yeah, that's right. The friendship. Yeah, I just wanted to make it good again. You know?" I say as the wind pasts through her blonde hair.

The sunset is so beautiful. It makes the moment so romantic even tho it wasn't supposed to.

"Can I get you somewhere after we're done eating?" she asks calmed, looking me in the eyes. "Yes." I say chuckling. She smiles back.

As soon as we're done we go to her car. The sun fades away slowly. After 20 minutes we reach to a hillside. That's the same hillside she took me to two years ago. When she first opened up to me. We get off the car. It was almost dark, the sound of the crickets, the summer grass smell, and the wind make it so attractive.

We sit at the same place we sat back then. "Why did you bring us here?" I ask looking her in the eyes?. "I want you to remember...things. Memories...you know?" she says sitting next to me.

She looks at the view and softly puts her head on my shoulder. "Bill-..." I decide to let it be and put my head on hers. "I missed that." she says. "I did too." I say.

"But you know, your life is so special and different from mine now. Like especially when you get in public, a lot of people recognize you." I say laying down on the grass looking at the sky. "You think it's SO special?" she says laying down as well. "It is, you're well known everywhere you go. You have a lot of money...a lot of friends, you-" she cuts me off. "The sky is so beautiful!" she says pretending to get distracted. I wait for two seconds and continue my sentence. "-see the world and you're appreciated for the littlest things you do. You know? That's special!" I say staring confused.

"It's not like that." she says turning her face to me, I look at her. "I don't have you in it anymore." she says in a cracky voice, almost getting teary eyes.

Ok bye, I'm the one getting teary eyes rn.

WHAT DO U GUYS THINK!?!?! ARE THEY ABOUT TO FUCK ANY TIME SOON?🤡

I literally wrote the entire chapter on a "2017 summer hits playlist" so don't mind me if it has too many "sunny" and "summer" moments and vibes in it. IM JUST IN LOVE WITH LOS ANGELES SUMMER VIBES 😭✋🏻

Love uuuuu😭✋🏻