letters to the boy who never cared

t w e n t y - f o u r

You know that one girl who you meet, and you feel like you want to be her? She's like, gorgeous, and she has no visible flaws that aren't completely endearing. She's super nice, too, so you can't hate her. Everything she does, everything she has, everything she says is a hundred times cooler because it's her.

Basically, that was Arabella Astor.

I don't know where Matt found her, but at Summer's party the night after Reed and I went out, she, rather than Olivia, was on his arm. Her light brown skin glowed with a golden quality I'd never seen in real life, and her long, curly hair shone with moisture and health. She was beautiful.

I'm not completely sure how I felt about all this.

Matt intodruced her as the only child of the Astor family. She was rich, then, heiress to old money. And talented, a ballet dancer. And did I mention beautiful?

"I've heard so much about you," she cooed as she shook my hand. Her soft voice held the almost-unheard leftovers of some pretty, gentle accent. I smiled at her in return.

"Arabella, your hair," Jen gushed. "How do you make it do that?" She, Grace and Summer closed in on her, Matt and I on the outskirts of every conversation.

"I do like her," he said softly to me, as Arabella talked with my friends. We were supposed to be here as a cozy get-together, but it was turning swiftly into a "worship every little thing Arabella does" party. "She's pretty, isn't she?" We'd migrated away from the rest of the group, looking at her from the kitchen counter.

I hummed noncommittally.

"S'not like Olivia. So you don't have to think I'm using her, or anything like that."

I nodded. "Mmhm."

"Like, when we met, it was like that at first. Because of how I was feeling. You know, it was a few days after New Years. Except, it was better, because she's much prettier than Olivia. But not prettier than you. Duh."

My cheeks warmed up, despite all my efforts.

"But then, I don't know. Alexa, I need to tell you something I haven't told anyone. And you need to not tell Grace."

I looked up at him expectantly.

"I... I had sex with her."

Matt's face...he was like a little kid telling me that. Like he felt guilty. And that made the gnawing in my stomach let up a little, but it was still enough to hurt.

"Oh," I said.

Matt looked at me. "That's it? 'Oh'?"

I shrugged.

"God. Do you even realize how I reacted when I heard about...about you and Reed? And the one thing you've said, this whole conversation, is 'oh'. I feel like-" he stopped and sighed.

I made my voice icy, and low so none of my friends heard. "Well, I have a boyfriend. And I don't know who told you about me and my boyfriends private business, but you can't expect me to react the same way." I looked down at the floor, scowling coldly.

Matt choked out a harsh, bitter laugh. "Wow. Okay. I guess I've been wasting my time, yeah? Like, since September, chasing after you. I wanted to do it with you. And all this drama going on? Its a big deal to me. And you don't even care how you're making me feel. Well, I'm done." He caught himself getting a bit loud, and lowered his voice. "I've got Ara, I'll be fine. I'm done pretending that being with you is what'll finally make me happy, when apparently, all you want is to get hurt by the boy that never cared about you."

I hadn't realized I was crying until I brushed a hand against my cheek and found it wet.

"Don't talk about my boyfriend like that. Just stay away from me," I replied weakly, croaking over my tears. I stormed away from the kitchen, and left Summer's house, grabbing my coat and purse on the way, not saying goodbye to anyone.

"I could never get close, anyway," Matt called out in a solemn voice before I slammed the door.

A/N please dont hate on Matt. Alexa is doing the most at the moment.

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xx janai