letters to the boy who never cared

t h i r t y - o n e

The rain beat an unsteady rhythm on the back of my neck as it fell soundlessly, but I paid it no mind. My mom sat next to me, concern written across her face.

I sat on the old swingset in my backyard, as I hadn't done since I was around twelve.

"Honey," my mom said softly. I looked up, and her green eyes that matched mine bored into me with a sad gaze. "I need to tell you a story."

I watched through the beaded dew on my lashes as the rubber tips of my shoes swung back and forth, back and forth.

"I was in my junior year when I met your dad. I was new to the popular crowd; he ruled it. He was the guy everybody wanted. So, when he took interest in me, I thought I was lucky. But, what I didn't know is, love isn't a privilege someone gives you. You can't put someone on a pedestal, but that's what I did. I thought the world of him, and a bit of recognition was enough to make me fall in love.

"So, I gave everything to this boy. My time, my energy, my love, my...my virginity. I gave everything. And I got sweet talk in return. And he'd go around with other girls and people would tell me but I wouldn't believe it because no, my baby wouldn't do that to me. He was perfect to me. And he would come around and give me attention for a night, then we wouldn't talk all week. And I was thinking I did something wrong."

Mom paused, stroking my hair. "But then," she continued softly. "You happened. After I told him, he never so much as looked at me. It was senior year, and he was getting out of there anyway. He went away to college and the only thing I saw of him after that was checks in the mail.

"Sometimes, it's hard for some people to care about others. So they don't. But that's a flaw you can't accept. Because you will try so much and they will try so little because they just. Don't. Care."

I involuntarily swiped a hand across my face and realized I was crying.

"The thing you have to know is, it's not your fault," my mom's voice continued, cracking slightly. "It'll be a long time, maybe forever, before Reed learns the right way to treat people who love him. Until then, it's time to move on."

I nodded. "Thank you," I croaked out, and my mom slung her arm around my shoulders.

"I love you," she told me. "And I want you to be happy. You don't need any boy for that, Alexa."

"I know," I replied smiling wanly.

"Still," she continued, smirking. "That Matthew boy seems pretty great."

"Jesus, mom!" I crowed, hiding my blush with my hands. I started giggling, and so did Mom. And we sat there, laughing under the touch of the soft rain.

A/N when you take years to update *screams while banging head on table*

idk why i just really wanted this chapter to be perfect. So.

anywayyyy check out princess if you haven't already. there'll be an update on that soon

Psssss alexa on the side again

kk baiiiiii vote comment & follow

xoxo janai