letters to the boy who never cared

t h i r t y - f i v e

During an early dinner with the whole group and our parents, Grace and I dipped our heads together and talked in hushed tones as the others chatted about high school memories.

"Met my dad today," I spoke calmly, low so only she heard.

"Oh my God, Alexa! That's great!" Grace whisper-cried, her blue eyes widening.

"Not really," I replied. "He was kind of a douche. He was really rude."

"Hmph. I figured. I just was being tactful."

I giggled. "I didn't know being tactful was your thing."

"I know. I tried. Never again, you ungrateful brat."

I smiled lightly. "Seriously. I wish I hadn't wondered about him so much as a kid. All I needed for a father figure was your dad."

Grace smiled fondly. "Yeah."

"How are you, anyway?" I didn't have to say what about. It was obvious.

She took a deep, shuddering breath."I wish he was here."

I nodded, but I said nothing. The oblivious conversation around us continued.

"Like, he was gonna see me graduate this year. It was all he talked about. And now he's just gone." Grace stared at her lap sadly. "Poor Ellie, though. I'm sadder for her. At least I'll remember him." She glanced at the blonde two year old, nearing her third birthday.

"I'm sorry, Grace. I know she'll get through it. It doesn't take much to be stronger than I am."

"Don't say that," Grace protested. "So you had a lapse in common sense. So does everyone."

I smiled at her. "That was so perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome, babe. Just glad you're okay." She squeezed my hand tightly, offering a sweet smile.

"Guys," Summer said a few minutes. "The bonfire is starting. We should go."

"Let's just all take my car," Matt suggested.

"Stay careful, young man," warned Mr. Carrigan sternly. "I don't want you driving drunk."

"Pff. No drinking at all," his mother added, sending a glare her husband's way.

"Honey. They're teenagers. We know what they do, even when we tell them not to."

Matt frowned. "I offered to drive, I knew what that meant."

"Just watching out for you, sweets," Mrs. Carrigan told him.

"Anyway, we should go, bye!" Grace rushed, anxious to leave and party.

"Where are you going?" asked one of the triplets.

"Can we come?"

"You guys are so unfair, everything is always only for big kids."

"Go, go, go," Jen whispered. We snuck out of the restaurant quietly, as the triplets complaints filled the air.

~

When we arrived at the beach, the fire was already casting long shadows as the fiery sky neared darkness. People from all around our school gathered around the beach.

"Alexa!" Marin called from down near the fire. She ran up to hug me. "Congratulations!"

"You, too, girl," I replied. After Reed had tossed her emotions around like a salad, she'd ended up depressed and lonely, surrounded by fake friends, besides Ava Gossamer. She'd turned to me as a confidant, since we'd been through the same thing with the same exact boy.