letters to the boy who never cared

confused

You are very hard to deal with, you know that?

I could've had Matt. Matt made me feel so special and important all the time. While I had to clamber for your attention, I always had Matt's. He always was there to comfort me when you hurt me so badly, all I wanted to do was cry. I could trust Matt. I could count on Matt. His hand was always there for me to hold.

But then, there was you, and things weren't as easy as they could've been. You were a lot more charismatic, that was true. And you couldn't have been hotter if you tried. You made me feel special in a different way. It was like you were some kind of god or a celebrity, and it felt good to get recognition. Recognition isn't love, though.

But of course, I didn't care. I was so fixated on the thought of you and I that I couldn't let go, when it should've been over long ago. So I chose you over Matt. You asked me out, I said yes.

I regret that decision more than anything in my life.

Alexa Green