letters to the boy who never cared

f o u r t e e n

I must've still been glowing from Saturday's events, because I noticed I was getting the odd look every now and then when I arrived on Monday morning. I walked to my locker, where Matt was already waiting to walk with me to class.

"I need to talk to you," we said in unison. I giggled.

"You first," Matt said.

"Okay," I began, "so Saturday night, right? Me and the girls were smashed, and you know what they think?"

Matt suddenly looked extremely nervous. "W-what did they say?"

I ignored his worried tone, and smirked at him. "Somebody told me you have a big, sloppy, crush on me, Matty!" I wiggled my eyebrows up and down. "Is it true, Matty-boy? Do you love me?" I knew it wasn't true, but I'd anticipated Matt's priceless reaction.

Matty blushed furiously. "No! No, no, no and no." He looked down at the floor and wiped his face as if trying to scrub away the red of his cheeks.

I grinned and elbowed Matt in the ribs. "Aw, Matty. Look at that blush. You're so cute." I pinched his cheeks, but he frowned and pulled my hands away from his face.

"I am not cute."

"Sure, Matty-boy. Whatever you say. I'm off."

"Alexa!" he called, but I cut him off.

"You're in denial, Matty-boy," I singsonged, skipping away before he could protest. I was in way to good a mood.

~

I remember in my junior and sophomore year, everything was rather simple (freshman year I was in a tumultuous relationship with Damon Mackenzie). I spent all my time with Grace over sophomore year, then Jen and Summer came along junior year. My life had been relatively drama-free. This year, though?

Not so much.

Everyone was staring at me, and now I knew it wasn't my happy glow. They knew. They all knew, and in their minds, I was a slut. Word got out that I'd "done the deed" with Reed Marlowe.

Marin was spreading the news to anyone she could tell. She'd been "cruising by" (a complete lie, Reed lived on a dead end. She was driving past on purpose, obviously) when she saw me leave his house, rather late and messy-looking. Apparently, my "whore-ish, self-satisfied" walk back to my car confirmed her suspicions.

Reed wouldn't even look at me. I felt used. He'd gotten what he wanted, abd now was ignoring me. Suddenly, it was just like all those years before, when he didn't know I existed. When I was invisible to him.

Except back then, it didn't hurt.

A/N *desperately tries to stick to planned story line*