letters to the boy who never cared

t h i r t e e n

I woke up to darkness outside of the windows. I kicked my way out of Reed's dark blue sheets, and grabbed my phone off his bedside table to check the time. It was already eight o'clock, and Grace had told me to be at her house by now. I swore softly to myself and dove under Reed's comforter to find the clothes I'd kicked off hours ago.

"Alexa? Hey," Reed's raspy voice mumbled. He popped his head out from under the covers. "Why don't you just stay?" He wrapped his arm around my waist.

"I can't, I'm sorry, I have to get to Grace's. She's already gonna flip, I'm late." I found my clothes entangled in the sheets at the foot of the bed and rushed to put them on.

"Oh, okay," he said, already halfway back to sleep. "Lexi?"

I giggled at his messy head of hair peeking out of the covers. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I smiled softly, unsure of what to say. Everything that had happened today had been perfect.

I reached over half of the bed to ruffle his hair. "Bye, Reed."

"Mmmhmmm," he mumbled, burrowing into the soft blankets.

---

"I don't think I even want to know why you're late," Grace said, narrowing her eyes at me when she opened the door. I smiled at her, ignoring her bad mood.

"Sorry, guys. But I have big news." I sat on the couch, beaming. Summer and Jen, sprawled on the floor with magazines and Grace's laptop in sleepover tradition, glanced up at me.

I dropped my voice to a low whisper. "We did it."

Summer looked blankly at me. "I'm sorry, I'm lost." Jen sat up and narrowed her eyes.

"Hmmm. I don't like where this is going," Jen mumbled. "What did you do? With who?"

"Me and Reed. You know."

Grace cursed quietly. "You did not.Alexa Green. You gave it to him? "

My smile faltered. "Yeah. Guys, I know you don't like him--"

Summer rolled her eyes. "That's an understatement."

I ignored her. "But, guys, I did it. This is- this is huge."

"Was he?" Grace demanded, always the lewd one.

Jen cut her off. "That is so beside the point. You gave your virginity to a boy who had who crying in the bathroom stall not even three weeks ago. Don't you think that's a little...?" She trailed off.

I shrugged. "But Jen, it was perfect. Beyond perfect, maybe. I couldn't have imagined it better." Why couldn't they just be happy for me? I stared down at my hands in my lap, frustrated.

Grace read my reaction immediately. "Details," she gushed, indulging me.

We talked for a long time, and Grace compared my experience with her first time.

"You never did tell us who that was," Summer said, wriggling her eyebrows. "But I remember it was our sophomore year, and we were at...um, who's party was that?"

"Ryan Sumpter's," Jen supplied.

"He was hot," Grace added.

"Oh my God, Grace, was it him?" I gasped.

"No way," she laughed. "He was hot but I heard he was quick so I avoided him."

We all giggled, and press for more information. Grace waves us all off. "I'm not telling, so you can forget it. Anyway, it was super embarassing 'cause I was, like, piss-drunk and I threw up like ten minutes after and I cried because I was absolutely sure Jesus hated me." She chuckled inwardly, then straightened up. "Guys. My mom is staying with Dad today. What do you say, should I crack something open?"

"Make those margaritas!" Summer begged. "I love those things."

Grace got up and went to the kitchen to make the drinks. Jen punched me lightly on the shoulder to get my attention.

"Hey. Sorry for not being supportive earlier. I'm just concerned for you, Alexa," she explained, settling close to me. "It's a really important step, your first time and all that. And I just get a wierd vibe with Reed, y'know? Like he might hurt you again. And you might regret something. But then, you say it was perfect. And that's great. I'm just saying, I think you should've waited. But, it's your realationship. Just be careful, though. Don't give too much away."

I nodded and smiled at Jen. "Thanks for being understanding. I know you guys don't like him and all but I think I'm willing to forgive him."

Summer slung her arm over my shoulders. "Whatever you think is best, Lex." Her red hair tickled my nose.

Grace arrived with the drinks. I sipped mine, the iciness making my teeth ache and the sweet-yet-sour lime flavor making my lips pucker.

"Mmm," Summer sighed. Already, she was loosening up. She and Grace had always been lightweights.

Grace gave us more and more margaritas, until she was too smashed to work the blender without cutting her fingers off.

Jenny sprawled on the carpet, singing about us living under the sea. I smiled at her. She was sooo pretty. I petted her face in appreciation. "Jen Jen Jen," I slurred.

"Whaddya want, Doctor?" she asked, twirling a brown curl around her finger.

"Jenny you're...you're breetiful." I frowned. That wasn't right. "I mean, um, bootiful. Beautiful."

Jen grinned. "Yeah, I am." She gave herself a slap on the butt. I giggled uncontrollably.

I sniffed. "Too bad Matty's not here. I miss him."

"Me too. He's my bestest ever friend I ever had," Grace agreed, suddenly on the brink of tears.

"Good thing Matty's not here, though," Summer slurred. I frowned. That was rude. I pounced on her and sat on her chest, scowling.

"How dare you say that about my BFFL Matty?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes.

"My boobiiiiies," Summer whined. "Owchiiiiiie."

"Why would you say that about Matty?!" I repeated, poking her face.

"He'd be so so mad you did the diddly-doo. He might cry. Get off my boobs, Alexa."

I got off her chest and furrowed my brow. "Why?"

"'Cause he looooooves you," Grace slurred, upside down on the couch.

"Mmmmhmm," Summer confirmed, sitting up criss-cross applesauce and nodding vigorously.

"Lexi and Matty, sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." Jen sings next to me.

A/N how do y'all feel about alexa going back to reed? About their little...escapade?

Don't forget to vote, comment and follow!!! Ily guys mwah