10 Reasons Why I'm Not Good Enough :||: Yungblud

Johnny Boy

Elsa once said something wise, "conceal don't feel." Something I've been doing a lot since the other afternoon.

I kept a small smile on my face when I needed to and always said I was "doing okay" when anyone asked.

It's actually amazing at how well it works, I've seen people who were obviously not okay switch on a bright smile and with a slight pitch to their voice, fool numerous people.

I played the part but I did not feel it.

When I got home I laid in bed, little energy to move, only getting up when I absolutely had to do something. I felt tired but found myself restless at night, desperately trying to sleep. I found myself in a constant daze, if I didn't have to be pretending.

Dominic did not show up to school the day after our fight, or the day after that one. We haven't talked to each other since. To be honest, I'm not even sure if we're still together at this point.

I felt sick. Sick for many reasons.

Sick because Dominic destroyed a car all because of something Johnny said. Sick because I'm pretty sure he hates me now. And sick because I was talking to Johnny.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Seriously, I know this slime ball doesn't want anything to do with me, he gave me ten reasons why he doesn't.

And here I was, responding to him, like he deserved any of my time. Like Dominic deserved a, if we're still together, backstabbing two timing girlfriend.

I don't deserve him.

Each time I responded, I felt worse.

And every time I did, he took it as an opportunity to be a little more, suggestive.

I may be dense, but I'm not your typical, hopelessly ignorant, love interest of a super awesome celebrity in an au with a writer who only updates once every cycle of Mercury.

Mostly.

It didn't take long for me to figure it out, which I'm glad, but I definitely should've figured it out sooner.

The car situation was a distraction, all part of Johnny's grand scheme. Get me mad at Dominic, suddenly starts talking to me and acting all interested. He was trying to steal me.

Why you ask? Good question, I don't know.

And the fact the I hadn't realized that immediately made me feel so stupid.

And I couldn't even face Dominic.

Especially when he finally decided to go to school on Friday.

He climbed onto the bus, head down.

I felt my stomach do flips.

Is he going to sit with me? What do I do if he does. Is he going to break up with me?

My questions are mostly answered when he takes a seat with some random ass fourth grade girl. A couple of seats ahead of me.

In the rear view mirror I see Tess raise an eyebrow. She puts the bus in drive though and I feel my heart sink like it had cinderblocks chained to it.

I spent the rest of the bust ride holding back tears.

When we got to school he was the first one off the bus, hurrying into the school.

I didn't try to catch him, I wasn't going to be able to talk to him here.

I drug myself into the school, and did not miss the look Tess gave me as I walked by her, she looked like she wanted to give me a hug but knew better.