10 Reasons Why I'm Not Good Enough :||: Yungblud

9.You're Not Experienced Enough

I found myself trying to figure out what this meant. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know what it means, but he could be talking about something else.

"What does it mean when a guy says you're not experienced enough?" I asked looking at both of them. "Does he mean like, doing the nasty experience, or haven't had enough boyfriends?"

"Sex." Rylie said. "That is what he means. When was the last time you kissed a boy?"

I felt my face heat up.

"Fifth grade."

Her eyes widened in shock.

"Okay, we have to find someone for you to practice with. This isn't okay." Rylie said.

"What the fuck? Who's gonna practice kiss someone?" I exclaimed.

They were quiet for a second.

"That gay friend of yours."  Rosalie suggested, scaring the silence away.

"Gay friend?"

"The one who wears skirts."

"Dominic?"

They both nodded.

"He's gay, he won't care if you use him for practice." Rylie stated.

I furrowed my eye brows.

"Okay, first up he never told me he was gay. Second, no thats fucked up."

"Well who else are you going to practice with? You need experience don't you?" She pushed.

I stayed silent. Words were building up in my throat from anger.

"How would you like it if you actually got to kiss Johnny but you messed it up because you wouldn't grow some fucking tits and practice?" She raised her voice slightly and her tone was sharp.

"I am not using Dominic." I said as I got up and headed to the bathroom in the hallway. I needed some fresh air.

I opened the window and then sat down on the floor and ran my hand through my hair.

I don't need to practice with anyone, and even if I did, why would it need to be with Dominic? Because they think he's gay? Does that make them think it's okay to use someone then?

I was absolutely disgusted with my friends.

I sat on the floor for ten minutes before there was a knock on the door.

"We're gonna head home, Rosalies parents want her back." Rylie said through the door.

I grunted in response and didn't move. I heard the front door close and I felt tears fill my eyes.

I curled up on the floor and let out a sob, thankful that Ethan was at a friends house.

Why do I have to like Johnny? I've spent this entire week trying to be good enough for him and the only fucking time he notices is when I wear a leather jacket.

I pulled myself off the floor and caught a glimpse of my reflection. The sight of my pink face and swollen eyes pulled another sob from my body.

Why do I have to be so ugly?

I held eye contact with myself. My hair was a mess, which only added to the ugly person staring right back at me.

"Fuck you." I mumbled to myself before heading back to my room.

I stumbled back to my door because my vision was blurry. I sat my hand on the knob and let out an ugly sob.

I turned the knob and nearly fell into my room.