❝ You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. ❞
ADALAINE AIROLDI spends every second doubting her worth, spending...
*°࿐ ━━018, every time i turn to you, i see the past!
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It was as though the kitchen was the hues of light upon cloud, of the kinda of creams and greys that soothed. The hue of blue dishes and the rich browns well-cared for woods felt as a safe haven for Adalaine, who stood next to Robert in awe as he carefully plucked fresh basil.
Instead of bland, unseasoned, unsatisfactory meals, that the young Airoldi girl knew by heart and calorie number. With Robert, an entirely new world has been opened in the eyes of Adalaine.
It was roasted garlic and vegetables being sauteed in butter. It was spices and herbs being thoughtfully chosen.
It wasn't meals based on the calorie content. It was so much more.
The process of being comfortable with food and eating is not one that changes in a four hour period. But small moments, being surrounded by ingredients and someone trustworthy- is a good and important start. And Adalaine Airoldi was beyond grateful for Robert's patience and taking things slow.
Her entire mind was spinning, the kitchen is the birthplace of the most homey of aromas, the kind of fragrances that spoke directly to the greatest memories of life. Because as they cooked, Robert talked about being friends with Mike, and how they created the menu together.
Every appetizer, entree, dessert and side had been perfected over trials and trials. But one thing stood out to Adalaine, each story that the chef spoke of, with the brightest smile and lightest tone of voice- his mother was involved.
Adalaine Airoldi knew, starting at a very young age, that for whatever reason, her relationship with Amelie would be strained. The smell of the kitchen wasn't always happy as it led to her being shooed away or Amelie banning her from eating the food.
To work and be in a kitchen is to work for the love and nourishment of others. Robert is a perfect example of that, as he puts his soul into each meal he creates. Though Adalaine would never be able to cook in her own house, as her mother would be furious- the thought of working in the kitchen with Robert or Mike occasionally puts a small, encouraging smile on her face.
For Adalaine, a question will always loom over her head, is there a way for her to interpret her upbringing? Is there a light in the deep-pitted tunnel that she had never spotted prior? Or would her trying to find good in someone like Amelie Airoldi just utterly destroy the already fragile-hearted girl?
Because one's past creates the present self. Perhaps it's unfair that this is the case, as one can't leave the past as the moving hand of a clock does. To be a self is to live toward the future and to do so not only in the form of purposiveness, but also of expectation, anticipation, anxiety and hope.
That's what Adalaine is trying to do, that's what she's striving for. Because she's trying to remind herself on a daily basis that life is a continuous interaction of never-ending and always changing moments. And even though tones of fear, guilt and joy that are attached to past memories━━ to past actions━━ are attached forever, they change one's interactions and responses with any new encounter.
