❝ You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. ❞
ADALAINE AIROLDI spends every second doubting her worth, spending...
*°࿐ ━━005, but a love without a life, well, that just happens everyday!
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It was a stretch to say Normand was a father figure in Adalaine's life. He wasn't the step-father you saw in those feel-good movies, he wasn't the kind, loving figure you dreamed of having. No, god he was so fucking selfish! He never offered to formally adopt Beau and Adalaine. Despite being in their lives for the majority, he was far too focused on his money and Amelie to care about the two children. Beau and Adalaine were desperate for more support in their life, but took that big bite of realization that Normand would not be that man, at a young age and never looked back.
It'd be stupid for them to dwell on it. Their emotions wouldn't change a thing in the eyes of Mr. and Mrs. Airoldi.
So, not only did she have a shitty step-father, but she had (assumedly) a shitty father that left them when she was little. That alone, kept a big hole in her being, as it felt like she didn't even know a part of herself (and she would never try to find the similarities between herself and Amelie). The worst thing was, even after all these years, if Adalaine ever got the chance to even see what he looked like, she'd take it. God, she was desperate for a sense of anything at this point. She wanted to know if she got any sort of semblance of him in her features. Or maybe if any of her deep-seeded insecurities had stemmed from the man before she could get a fighting chance. ━━but there was an itch to that one, she was sure that the blame is all on Amelie.
Or perhaps she just wanted to put a face or a name to this man, so she knew who to stay away from.
And after sitting on the dock for hours after opening the bag and revealing the compass, stories from John B about his dad were shared. It made her heart hurt, because she saw the glimmer of sadness in his eyes, and it hurt her even more when she realized nothing she could say or do would help.
The stories were chaotic but full of love. and Adalaine wondered briefly what her life would have been like, if her own father never left.
Maybe he would've stopped her mother from restricting Adalaine to a diet that was fit for a baby ferret. Maybe instead of dreading walking through her own front door, she would practically be skipping up the steps so she could spend time with the man who would bring her fishing. But she wouldn't do the fishing! No, it would've just been an opportunity to spend their time together, she'd read and bask in the sun and pretend to listen to the facts on fishing.
The pogues had also shined a light on their previous activities, and everything was making more sense. The kegger as a distraction (though that was a failed attempt) the gun as protection, the boat in the middle of the marsh, the police. things were starting to make some sense, she could barely believe it. yes, there were times she craved excitement in her life, but this was beyond anything she'd ever dreamt of, and she wasn't sure how they were being so casual about it.
