Hate feeling alone Eren x Reader

10

Mikasa

The paper folded between her index and thumb. It was creased with a few stained droplets of tears.
It held words that she couldn't bring herself to say.

3 days since she's seen Eren and she hoped this could mend what was broken. In the mornings, she couldn't look at herself in the mirror. How could she ever think of hurting you?
Especially since he loved you.

What was it about you that was so special? 

What was it that you had that she didn't?

"11 days" she whispered, sliding her fingers across the paper. She wondered if Eren even told you, she guessed he didn't and she wouldn't dare tell you anyway.

"Here you go" the spoon rattled in the saucer as you brought the tea to her. Mikasa sat at your table debating whether or not she should have come.
"Milk?" You chimed
"no thank you" the Ackerman straighten her back "(Y-YN)" she slid the paper onto the table "I came here to give you this"

You pulled out your chair taking a seat. "What's this?" Mikasa's hand stopped you before you opened it.
"It's an apology"
"For what?"
"Read it"
You flicked open the paper

'Here I write to you the truth.'
Mikasa snatched the paper out of your hand "fuck it" she took a deep breath as she crumbled the paper, she would rather be more blunt.

"What's going on Mikasa?"
"I hate you" her voice almost inaudible.
You leaned back in the wooden chair "you hate me?" You scoffed rubbing your temple. "So you came all the way here to give me an apology letter to then turn around and say you don't like me" you let out a mocking laugh.
Mikasa looked down at the crumpled paper

"That night when Eren was in that fight, I came here to hurt you" her eyes slowly lifted up to you.
"I know" you raised both eyebrows "saw the blade in your pocket"
"You don't seem fazed"
"That's because I don't give a fuck Mikasa, it's hard to when you live here...on this island. I could die tomorrow you would've just made it sooner"
Mikasa's eyes widen at your words.
"I would have killed you-"
"Great!" You clapped your hands together. "You're probably wondering 'this isn't the same (YN) that you knew' right?" You leaned forward "you have no clue what I've gone through while you guys were away. Mikasa, I'm not scared to fucking die. If you want to kill me over a guy that doesn't love-"

"SHUT UP!" She slammed her fist on the table. The tea splashed onto the wooden surface.
You shook your head "it's always him isn't it?" You told her. You went over crouching down beside her. "I know what you wanted to say in the letter" placing a hand on her back, Mikasa relaxed.

"I hate myself for hating you (YN)...I don't want to hate you" tears rolled down her cheeks and you wiped them away
"loves a bitch Mikasa" you stood up going towards your cabinet.
"Both of us would do anything for him and in return, he drives us crazy" the bottle of wine resided in your hand. "Come" you gestured her over.
"It's 9 in the morning" she let out a small laugh.
"So?" You poured the red liquid handing it to her.
She contemplated for a bit but you knew she would take it.
"I am going to regret this" she smiled
"Cheers" spoke in unison.
The warm liquid pooled on your tongue, the right amount of sweetness, and a hint tang. Nothing beats a good wine well for Mikasa anyways. You were more of a beer girl.

"I'm sorry (YN)" her cheeks slightly flushed.
"Forget it Mika"
'Mika' what you used to call her when you both were younger, she liked it. It let her know all was forgiven.
"Drink!" You poured more.

There was another thing Mikasa wanted to say at that moment. She wanted to tell you to look after Eren and bring him happiness. She thought it would be better left unsaid. She knew you would anyway.

..........

"What do you think those two talked about?" Armin stood next to Eren at the same spot these past 3 days. They watched Mikasa leave your house.
"Nothing important" Eren replied following Mikasa with a curious eye.
"Might as well write this down" Armin opened his jacket.
"Is that cigarettes?" The box was still sealed, which wasn't surprising to Eren as Armin didn't seem the type to smoke, which meant someone gave it to him.

"Oh- yeah" he pulled it out flipping the cap open "one of the scouts gave it to me. He said it's a souvenir from one of the Maryleyans he killed."
The box was blue with a white trim at the bottom. It was labeled 'Henderson's premium'
"Kinda dark isn't it" Armin closed it back.
"Throw that shit away Armin" Eren looked at the object as if it was an actual Maryleyan.

Armin placed the box back in his jacket.
"You're not going to find anything on Aksel by watching (YN) house every morning" the blonde changed the subject.
"I know"
"He's not going to come out, I doubt he spent the night Eren"
The Yeager fixed his collar "what are you talking about?"
"Right..." Armin shoved his hand in his pockets "I'm going to head back make sure you pay Aksel a visit, if not today then tomorrow"
Armin smiled to himself as he walked away, it was so easy for him to see through Eren when it came to you. If only it was this easy when it came to other things.

.....

Jean's room

The dark-haired girl tried to control her breathing, she fiddled with a few loose strands of hair.
Had she gone mad?
Why the hell was she in his room?
She blamed it on the wine that ran through her system.
"Mikasa?" His voice was slightly horse, he watched as she closed the door. The sound of the lock made him gulp.
Every step she took towards him made his heart race. He was scared but amused at the same time.
"Jean" her delicate voice didn't match how she normally spoke to him. "Jean" she said again coming even closer, he could have sworn there was a dash of lust in it.

Her eyes fell lower down to his lips and then his chest. She knew how muscular he was underneath the thin fabric of his shirt. She wanted to touch it, feel it against her own skin.

She placed her hand on his shirt looking him in the eyes.
"Mik-"
"No talking" the same hand ran up to his neck as she plastered her lips against his. His muscles tighten and then he submitted deepening the kiss.
He's wanted this for a long time

They backed slowly onto his bed unraveling each other's clothes...

Mikasa needed to get over Eren.
She would never love Jean like she did Eren, but at least she knew how Jean felt about her.

A/N: this chapter is a bit longer, hope you guys like it 💙