For him.
I would do anything for him. I would do anything just to see him again. Just to hear his voice again. Just to text with him again. Just to feel like he knows that I exist.
But I know that this isn't going to happen.
So I started to escape reality. I started to spend my free time in a different world, the internet. I would spend my whole free time there. I would try to forget about my feelings, my problems and reality.
I would look at all those happy persons with their perfect little lives. How everything turned out to be fine in the end. How everyone ended up happy in one or another way.
It helped. It helped as long as I was online. As long as I had something that took my mind off of my thoughts. As long as I didn't think.
But when I stopped, it all crashed down on me again. It was somehow better and worse at the same time. I couldn't put my finger on it.
I didn't care though. I consumed and consumed. I tried movies, series, even theatre or books. It all worked temporarily.
But still, I couldn't let him go.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/261742045-288-k588116.jpg)
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The Fanfiction, MatsuHana
FanfictionHe left me and I couldn't take it. One day I stumbled upon Wattpad and it showed me a way to feel his love without him actually loving me. I still loved him, even after five years. If you love someone strong enough, you'll fall for them over and ov...