I ended up staying awake until 2 am, chatting with this guy. He was funny and reminded me of Mattsun.
Did he try to imitate the character out of my stories? It was possible. But then there was the aspect that you couldn't possibly imitate a person that fast and that he also showed some aspects that I never wrote in the stories. So he had to have a similar character. Maybe we could become friends.
But if we would become friends, I would have to care about this friendship. Was I capable of this? Could I do that? I didn't want to disappoint him. But I'm sure I would. I always disappointed everybody who interacted with me. I was just too much to take care of.
Mattsun knew that but he didn't care. He was there for me and always reminded me to drink and eat something. To go outside. To do something I enjoy. To be productive. To sleep.
He reminded me to stay healthy. He gave me the energy to do those things. The energy that I now lacked. I wanted to stay healthy because I knew that he would want me to. Yet, I didn't. I tried to but couldn't.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/261742045-288-k588116.jpg)
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The Fanfiction, MatsuHana
FanfictionHe left me and I couldn't take it. One day I stumbled upon Wattpad and it showed me a way to feel his love without him actually loving me. I still loved him, even after five years. If you love someone strong enough, you'll fall for them over and ov...