Destination Life or Death

23.

Later that day, the walkers got in. The old white church fell on top of the wall while we were about to go to the green balloons we had assumed Glenn sent as a signal. I was with Carl and before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and we were running. "Oh shit!" I said looking back at the church that now had a cloud of dust where I was standing and then focusing on Ron, who had a gun in his hands and was standing where we just were. We eventually reached Rick, Michonne, Gabriel, Deanna and Ron and ran into Jessie's house where she had Judith. We stayed in the house while the once safe streets filled with walkers. Carl and I ran upstairs and went to the empty bedroom facing the street and stared out the window. "How did this happen?" I asked quietly "That church was old," he replied. "But who knows, none of us expected this," he said shrugging. I sat down against the wall. "Carl, I think Ron was following us." I said standing up and closing the door quietly. "I looked back and he was standing behind us with a gun." I looked at Carl and waited for a reaction. "I don't know Dezzy, maybe he just got scared and pulled it when the church fell." I looked at him with my eyes widened. "So, what is he gonna do when we have to leave this house and there are walkers all over?" I questioned raising an eyebrow before we heard a creak on the stairs. "What was that?" I asked, looking at him and standing up. We walked quietly to the stairs and waited till we saw Ron come around the corner and go into the garage. We followed quickly behind him and then opened the door again slowly. "Ron?" Carl questioned before pulling me behind him. I looked over and nodded over to Ron, who was leaning down over a table. "Hey," Carl said before walking in completely. I closed the door behind me and looked at Carl. "You alright?" I questioned, still standing slightly behind Carl. "Enid's dead." he said sadly not lifting his head. "We're all dead." he added to himself. "Look, my dad's gonna figure something out. He always does." Carl said, shrugging slightly. "Thats Bullshit. Your dad's just gonna get more people killed!" Ron said walking quickly up to us. I could feel Carl grab my arm and pull me closer to him. "Cause that's what he does, that's who he is." he paused, "Your dad's a killer!" he said, staring at Carl. I put my hand on Carl's back in comfort. "Sp was yours." Carl added quickly, the room went silent and nobody moved. "We need to work this out," I said quietly, "I'm dead, Dezzy," he said, looking at me from infront of Carl and then looking away. "My mom is dead, my brother is," he said quietly. "No, they're not. We're gonna make it." Carl said while Ron walked past him to the door that went into the house. "Your dad, your little girlfriend, you're dead too." he said locking the door and taking the key from the knob." I looked at Carl, worried. Carl ran and pushed him to the door before Ron slammed him against some black plastic shelves. Ron had pulled his gun out and when he dropped it, I grabbed it quickly but Ron grabbed the metal shovel that was sitting on the ground and chased Carl with it before missing Carl and breaking part of a glass door leading outside causing a group of walkers to come towards us. Rick was trying to open the door. "Rick?" I questioned loudly before Ron had Carl pushed up against the wall with the shovel on his throat. I grabbed a wooden baseball bat that had been leaning against the garage door and hit Ron upside the head. Walkers started piling against the thin glass door that had been partially broken. Rick broke open the door before the walkers started flooding in. I grabbed Ron by the arm and pushed him towards Rick. "Lets go!' I yelled before running inside. We were pushing the door closed from the walkers flooding into the garage. Rick grabbed the couch and leaned it against the door while still pushing it shut. "We need more!" Rick said looking at Michonne who was now standing in the hallway. "Okay, I'll go too," Gabriel added and followed behind Michonne. "What happened in there?" Rick asked, looking at Carl then me. "We were looking for tools and knocked over a shelf." Carl said quickly. I looked at him confused but didn't say anything. "We heard yelling." Jessie added. 'Yeah Ron saw them break through the gates. We had to move. That's what happened." he said looking at them and then back at me nodding. "Carl, there's nightstands in my moms room, we can brace the couch with them." Ron said standing between me and Carl. "It sounded like you were fighting." Jessie added quickly while looking at ron. "Yeah, but we were fighting them." Ron said before going upstairs. I looked at Carl and shook my head. "I'll go." I said, moving before Carl could. I could feel Carl was a bit angry but I knew I had to go. I went into the room and closed the door behind me lifting my katana to touch the back of his head. "Give me the gun. I saw you grab it when I dropped it to grab you.'' I said quietly but with an angry tone. "Dezzy, I'm Sorry!" he said turning around to face me. "I'm not the one to apologize to, but I don't trust you with him." I said squinting my eyes at him. "Now give me the damn gun Ron." I said, moving my blade to his neck. I grabbed the gun when he handed it to me. "Look, I understand. Rick killed your dad, but you need to know something. Your dad was an asshole!" the room went quiet before we grabbed the night stands and went back downstairs to set them against the couch.

I heard Judith crying and I offered to go, I knew seeing her would help me. When I went upstairs I looked into the room Deanna had been staying to see a bloody bed but no Deanna. The crying stopped and I started breathing heavier. What happened, what was I about to see? I walked to the room at the end of the hall and opened the door slowly before pulling my katana out and moving towards Deanna. "It's still me" she said before my blade came down on her. I sighed and put my hand on her shoulder "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Deanna." I said, putting my katana down and helping her up to the bed. Deanna wasn't doing good at all, we all knew she was gonna go, we just didn't know when. "I just wanted to see her one last time," she said before I sat her down. "I thought I could make it but my legs had other plans." she said laughing a bit. "Trust me, I understand limbs not working to your favor,'' I said, lifting up my small stub. She laughed and nodded, "Rick will take great care of this place Deanna." I said nodding and smiling at her. "I want to stay with you from now on," I said nodding and grabbing her hand, "if that's okay?" I asked, smiling slightly. "Yeah, that's okay," she said, smiling back before laying her head down. "Wait, I wrote something. For Spencer and Maggie." she added before handing me two folded pieces of paper. "Look out for him." she added while holding my hand, "Look out for him like you all look out for each other." She talked slowly. I nodded and closed my eyes, "Yes, we will.'' she cut me off. "This is Rick's place now and I take it you'll be part of the community. You need to help these people, teach them." she said nodding. "We haven't had the chance yet.'' I said, shrugging "But that's how it is. I didn't run out there and help you because I like you, or because I think you're all good people, because you're a good girl, even when you're stubborn," she laughed a bit and then got serious again "I ran over to help because you, all of you, are one of us. That's the right answer." she said leaning up and looking at me. "Can I talk to you Deanna?" I asked before pulling a chair over that had been against the wall. "I would love that," she added before closing her eyes. "Well, I started this whole thing alone, it was like one day my world exploded and I had no one. Ya know I never felt the need to talk to someone about my life because I know how fast it can change now but I just need to talk.'' I paused and felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Carl kept me alive. I'm in love with him and it's something I've never felt before. I'm so scared to lose him in this world, I'm so scared to see him go. I know life isn't what it used to be and love isn't a word to throw around anymore but I truly do love him." I looked at her and then at my hands. "I wish I didn't meet the love of my life in the apocalypse, but I'm happy I met him. I always wondered what my father would think of him, or what my mom would think, but the truth is, I think my mom wouldn't have even remembered his name." I shrugged. I continued to go on about my life and who I used to be for at least an hour. I was cut off quickly when I heard Carl run up the stairs. "We need your help Dezzy." he spoke, not coming to the door completely before running downstairs. I looked at Deanna and then left the room, closing the door behind me quickly. The door wasn't holding anymore and everyone had been pushing against the couch to keep the door closed. "There's too many of them!" Gabriel said quickly before the front door started breaking open too. "Everyone get upstairs now!" Michonne said sternly before slicing two walkers above the eyebrows. We all stood at the top of the stairs while Michonne and Rick blocked off the bottom of the stairs with a couch.