Destination Life or Death

32.5

I had thrown on a grey hoodie Carl found on a run and started walking down the street. I just needed some air. I felt like I was going crazy and I just couldn't stand being locked in the house. I ran into Glenn as he was walking back home. "Dezzy? What are you doing?" Glenn spoke quickly once he realized it was me. "I just can't handle it Glenn." I paused, "My life is constantly changing and because of it, I've turned into a murderer." I started crying, I could feel the tears rushing down my face. "I'm just having a hard time keeping up with it all." I put my head in my hand as I spoke. Glenn pulled me in for a hug and squeezed. "Dezzy, you're not a murderer, you're not that person." he said, not moving from the hug. I cried into his chest as he comforted me, it reminded me of my dad, how he was alway there when I needed him. "Thank you Glenn." I said, pulling away from him. "I miss my family." I said shaking my head. "Hey," he said smiling, "We are your family." he nodded to me and then put his hand on my back. "Lets go kid, you can stay at mine and Maggie's place." he smiled down at me again as we started walking. I looked back at the house I had just left as we walked up the stairs to the front door of Glenn and Maggie's. I layed down on the couch as Glenn went upstairs. I looked at the ceiling as I thought about my mom. What she had been doing this whole time, why she left me in the first place. I was happy I found people who do care about me, but at what cost will I have to protect my new family against my old one? As my mind raced, I closed my eyes, trying to think of good memories, things before this, before Carl got shot, before my dad died, before I lost my arm, just before everything I've gone through. I drifted to sleep fast, but was quickly jolted awake by a strong grip shaking me awake. "What? What?? I'm awake!" I said rubbing my eyes and then opening them to see a blurry figure. I looked at the brown cowboy hat sitting on top of the boy's head. "Dezzy, what the hell?" he said looking at me as I sat up to face him. "I just needed to get out Carl." I said looking over to him then to Glenn, Maggie, Rick and Michonne all standing at the kitchen door but quickly dipping out of view when I saw them. "Why-" I paused. "What is going on?" I asked looking back at him. "I get that I left but I'm almost 21." I said shaking my head. "Dezzy, it doesn't matter how old you are, it matters that you're not dead." Carl spoke softly. I could tell he was scared of what I did. I was going a little crazy, and I will admit it to myself that I would have felt the same if it were him. "Dez, I think we should find our own place." Carl said looking at the kitchen to where the group was clearly standing again. "You what??" I said, raising an eyebrow. "Where would we even-" I started talking quickly. "Dezzy, there's an empty house down the road. It's further then Glenn's and my dads are but it's empty and we could use it as a start." Carl spoke with a smile. "And if you don't like it we can leave and move back out." I looked at him and smiled before standing up and pulling him up from where he was sitting on the coffee table across from me. "I'd love that." I said nodding with a smile then pulling him in for a hug. "But seriously, no more running away." he spoke sternly. "Okay, okay. I'll try." I said laughing slightly and then giving him a quick peck on the lips.