Destination Life or Death

25.

 After a while, Sam started to look around. He got scared. He stopped walking and looked at all of us. "You gotta go Sam '' I said quietly, looking at Rick. "Sam, you can do it," Jessie said quickly before he started crying. A walker came up behind him and bit his neck causing more to come when Sam started screaming. Jessie started screaming and crying bringing more to us. "Jessie, we have to go!" I said, trying to get her to let go of my hand. Before I could move a walker was on her neck, soon she fell to the ground. "Shit!" I whispered, trying to pull my hand from hers but it wasn't working. "Let go, please!!" I said louder, before feeling Carl's hands pulling on my arm. Rick eventually hit her arm until she let go. I grabbed my katana and started slashing the heads of walkers near me. It was like slow motion, I stood up and turned around to see Ron pointing a gun right at Rick. Before I could do anything the gun went off, leaving Rick intact. Carl turned around and looked over to me and Rick. His eyes socket was bloodied. "Dad?" he asked before falling to the ground. "No, no ,no ,no ,no!!!!" I said repeatedly while crying. "Carl! No Carl, please!" I said, running to him and kneeling on the ground. "It was supposed to be Rick." I heard Ron say from a few feet away. I stood up not moving my eyes from the ground and grabbed my katana. "You did this!" I said, walking up to him angrily and kicking him down to the ground while keeping my foot on his chest. "I'll see you in hell you selfish little bitch!" I said before shoving my katana through his skull. I fell to the ground but felt Michonne's arms wrap around me quickly, helping me to the clinic where Rick was running to with Carl in his arms. I ran inside, closing the door behind me and sliding down, shoving my head in my arm. "What--" I paused "Why did this happen?" I said, shaking my head, tears flooding my eyes. I drowned out the noise of people talking and remembered the time we spent after prison. The nights we would stay up all night together because we didn't know how many walkers were around, the times we spent scavenging together, and the first time I ever saw his icy blue eyes in that car on the highway. I stood up and wiped my eyes before pulling my Katana off the ground. I walked outside and started slashing through bodies. I felt blood dripping down my neck but I didn't care. I felt Rick's hand on my back but instead of taking me inside, he just started killing the walkers with me. He was worse than I was and I felt selfish for feeling this pain but we both knew we needed an escape and we just happened to have the same methods. I felt my katana glide through the walkers faces as I moved on from walker to walker. We were quickly surrounded but we both moved quick enough to keep them at a distance. Soon Michonne, Heath, Spencer and Aaron all rushed out and started helping us when it got to be too much. "Knock 'em away, drive them down!" Rick spoke loudly as more people from other houses started coming out to help us. The lake in the middle of town was suddenly on fire. While we were all fighting, all of us were covered in blood but were also fighting death. We were all scared, and didn't know what to do. I felt my blade go through so many skulls. I lost count. I saw the blood of myself and the dead dripping down my clothes, before finally, after everything, it was all over. The streets filled with the dead and the people left gathered together at the clinic. I sat inside by Carl's bed, holding his hand. The moment things were done, I went straight to his side. "I'm sorry Carl," I spoke softly, "I'm sorry I'm not here like I used to be." I paused while shaking my head, "Ya know, I remember when I asked you not to tell anyone you saw me in that car and honestly that was my biggest mistake so far." I paused and looked at him, then down at my hand intertwined with his. "I saw what the people here could do today, how we pulled together, how we fought. If we work together, we can rebuild everything, we can grow bigger." I said shrugging and then closing my eyes. "There has to be more. More people, more places. We can't be the only ones.'' I said, opening my eyes again and laying my forehead down on his stomach. "Dezzy?'' I heard Rick speak from the door, "Why don't you go home and take a shower, maybe sleep a little." he said nodding and then walking over to rub my back. "He'll be better and when he wakes up you'll be the first person I go to." he said smiling slightly and then changing spots with me. "Thank you Rick." I said nodding before I left, "For keeping me safe." I smiled and then walked back to the house. I showered and changed my clothes. I layed down in bed and smelled the sheets, the pillow covers and the comforter, it smelled just like him. He smelled like burnt wood and eucalyptus. I grabbed a flannel he had worn a few days prior and wrapped it in my arm before I fell asleep.