Destination Life or Death

24.

Rick and Michonne pulled up two of the dead walkers and laid them on the ground. "We need bedsheets for everyone." Rick said quickly. "Bedsheets for what?" Jessie asked looking at the dead bodies. "We all go to the armory.," he said, not answering her. "How?'' she asked, looking back at Rick. "We're gonna gut these things. Cover ourselves with their insides, it'll mask our smell and make them think we're like them." I looked over to Ron who was just staring at Rick. "We've done it before. We stay calm, and we don't draw attention. We can move right through them." Rich said looking at them. "They're in the house making noise. More are coming." Michonne said before slicing open one of the Walkers stomachs. I kneeled down next to Michonne. "Anyone that stays here is gonna die." I said, looking at everyone who was standing awkwardly. "What about Deanna?" Gabriel asked, looking at me then Rick. Rick didn't answer, he just looked at me and then Michonne before handing us each a bedsheet. I reached in and started covering myself in blood, I covered my face and my body that was covered by a bed sheet, I put some in my hair and then moved so Ron could sit where I was. Carl rubbed some on my back and I did his. "Are you ready?" I asked nodding to him. He just nodded. I went quietly to the room Deanna was staying in. "What's happening out there?" she asked after looking at me covered in guts. "They're getting in, the rest of us, we're gonna have to leave." I paused. I held her hand again like I was before. "If you want me to, I can--" she cut me off, "No." she paused, "Not ready, not yet. I will be soon." she spoke slowly, slower than before. "And when I am," she stopped and looked at me, "I'll do it myself. It's my life." she said, lifting up a small silver pistol she had. "Start to finish. 'Dolor hic tibi proderit olim'." she said smiling. "What does that mean?" I asked before hearing the door open, Carl came in but he didn't say anything, he just stood behind me. "Someday this pain will be useful to you." she replied with a smile. "Go." she said smiling at me then looking at Carl, "They need you." she added, not looking away from Carl this time. "Thank you." I said, not turning to look at her. "For what?" she replied gurgly. "For listening to my life." I said, feeling a tear run down my face. "Dezzy. Don't be afraid of your feelings, because love isn't something you should be scared of in this world either." I turned to look at her before she nodded at me then looked at Carl. "Now, go give em hell!" she spoke quickly before we left. Once the door closed behind me, I started crying, I don't know why, but I knew I could talk to her. I told her everything, it was like I knew she would take my secrets and never tell a soul, she comforted me in a time of fear. Carl wrapped his arms around me while I cried into his blood covered chest. I didn't care, we were going to be covered in it anyway and I just needed a hug.

Once we got back into the room with everyone else, Jessie was talking to Sam, her youngest. He was crying because he was scared, but she was trying to get him to understand. "Just pretend you're brave," she said kneeling down to his height. "Just make this all pretend, okay, none of this is real, and you're somebody who isn't afraid." As she spoke, I pulled Carl and Rick back. "What is she doing?" I questioned. "Whatever she needs to do, I guess" Rick said before talking to the group. "We have to go," he said, moving past everyone and towards the stairs. We put Judith under Carl's sheet, and started walking, all of us making sure our guns were loaded beforehand. As we pushed our way out quietly, I held Carl's hand. I've done this before but it didn't get any less scary. Once we got to the porch we stopped and Carl looked over to me and nodded. We started walking into the walker filled street, holding each other's hands to form a line. I started hearing Sam talking, but eventually stopped when no one replied. We pulled off into a small field. "Okay, change of plans." Rick spoke in a whisper. "Flares from a few guns aren't enough. Too many walkers, too spread out. We're not going to the armory." he paused looking at us, "We need our vehicles back at the quarry. All of us drive, we'll need to round em up. We leave, then we come back," he spoke looking around again. "Okay, but, Judith to the Quarry and back? I just don't know if she can make it." Jessie added quickly. "I'll take her." Gabriel said looking over to Rick, "Keep her safe in my church until you all lead the walkers away." he said nodding to Rick. "Can you do this?" I asked quietly. "I'm supposed to," he replied while looking at me. "I will." he added to himself quickly. Carl handed Judith to Gabriel quickly. "Take Sam." Jessie added, "It'll be safer." she said looking over at the boy. "I'm not leaving you," he said, shaking his head. "Mom, I'm not leaving, I can keep going." he said nodding. I looked over to Carl and then back at the boy. I wasn't sure if he could but I hoped he could. We all were worried and I could see it but she allowed him to come. "Let's just go." he spoke quickly looking at all of us. "I'm going to keep her safe," Gabriel said, looking at Rick and Carl before we started walking again. I was holding Carl's hand and Carl was holding Ron's, I was scared but not only of the walkers.