I woke up at around 5 in the morning and walked over to my bathroom.
I had a shower and brushed my teeth with tasteless toothpaste so I could still eat my breakfast.
I walked out of my bathroom and towards my wardrobe, pulling out a Union Jack sleeveless top, high-waisted denim short-shorts printed with the American flag and a pair of Union Jack printed Converse All-Stars.
As I brushed my hair in front of my mirror I paused and sighed deeply, closing my eyes and burying my head in my hands, pressing the heel of my palms into my eyes.
"Why am I so stupid?" I whispered as I felt a tear touch my palm.
"Why? Why am I afraid of everything good? Why do I insist on making myself miserable? What sort of person does that make me? A horrible one? One so sickening that they shouldn't be allowed out in public?"
More tears squeezed themselves out of my eyes and I let them make my palms salty and wet.
After a moment I looked back up at the mirror and all I saw was a girl who didn't deserve the good things she had, though she thoroughly deserved the bad things that had happened to her.
I wiped my eyes slowly, watching my every action in the mirror, like my reflection was a whole other person.
After I cleared my face of emotions and tears I put on a tiny bit of eyeliner, just enough to highlight my eyes, before I grabbed my wand, stuck it in my back pocket and ran towards the grounds.
I sat down by our tree and leaned against it.
This was our tree, everyone's tree, but now it's their tree, no stupid me to screw everything up. I'd have to find somewhere else to go to 'relax', if that was even possible without Isabelle, Marlene and Alice.
I felt tears leaking onto my face and brushed them away quickly.
"Get a hold of yourself, Lily." I said to myself.
"Crying doesn't solve anything."
But sometimes it can make you feel better. That voice in my head pointed out.
"If people see me cry they'll think I'm weak." I said, as if the voice in my head was a person.
I heard a rustle from my side and turned to find a familiar looking fox staring up at me.
"How'd you get here, Fletcher?" I asked feebly as I wiped my eyes again.
She sent me a look and I laughed hollowly.
"Right, stupid question, did you run here?" I tried again.
She shook her head.
"Did you catch the train?"
She sent me another look and I smiled weakly.
"Did Dumbledore get you?"
I'd finally got it. Fletcher nodded and jumped into my lap.
"You have no idea how much I need you right now Fletch." I sighed.
She looked up at me from her comfortable place on my lap and sent me a look that I took as an invitation to continue.
"I'm probably the stupidest person who ever lived, first I base my decisions on a stupid nightmare I had, the stupid decision being breaking up with James, then I go get drunk for a couple of days, which is probably the sanest thing I've done during this, and I've just followed that all up with other stupid decisions. I truly am everything bad they say, a Mudblood, a wanker, a stuck up prick, a cow, a bitch, an arsehole, a bastard, a bimbo, a dickhead, a deadbeat, a nerd, a dork, a freak, nature gone wrong, a psycho, a rat, a zero, a twit."
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Not the Lily You Know
FanfictionLily Evans, smart, beautiful, orphan, hater of a certain James Potter, and most importantly a bit up tight. This is what most people at Hogwarts think when you say that name. But in actual fact Lily wasn't that up tight, she loved music and to let l...
