Loki, my darling

XIX

The next thing I knew I had risen into the air, unintentionally, it didn't even feel like I was using my powers, I had full control over those but not over this. I felt power radiating from within me, beaming out of me. I opened my eyes, but all I saw was white brightness, which I didn't know whether it came from in me or from a source outside. I felt my sadness, I felt all of my memories - pain, betrayal, loneliness... but also happiness, safety, the feeling of being a whole, being at home, when I was close to Loki. I felt my tears joining the flow of power I was evincing. It was coming out of every single cell I had, something I hadn't had in me before. This was so much more powerful...

I fell on the ground just a few moments later as the power-burst ended. I was on the other side of the room now. But how did I know that? I hadn't yet opened my eyes... I felt the door swing open and Shuri coming in. I felt it. Just like I had felt everything during the battle, but now instead of feeling it all I could feel what I was focused on and even that was extremely overwhelming to do. I opened my eyes and it went away, but the memories that had all just played in my head hadn't gone. They were still rolling and I was feeling so many things, I just... where was Wanda now that I really needed my brain to be shut down? I just sat there, looking at Shuri, who stood, completely in shock, in the doorway, "How did you do that?" she asked, "I don't know, I just got overwhelmed and I... it came bursting out, I couldn't control it.." She seemed to be confused as if we weren't talking about the same thing, did I hear her wrong? I mean, technically it was possible, I could barely focus on anything, I was sobbing from all the painful playbacks in my head while also having butterflies from the good ones and... Then suddenly, I felt arms wrapping themselves around my waist, at first I thought it was a memory, but I realized it was way too real to be just that. But there was no one else in the room. Was there? "Shh, it's okay, darling," a soft voice whispered into my ear. A voice I knew far too well... a voice I knew was supposedly going to never speak again... I turned myself around slowly, scared it would be a dream, or a delusion, something fragile that would disappear when I would try to look at it. But it was him. Loki was out of his bed, on the ground, his arms wrapped around me, trying to comfort me with "shh"-es and "it's okay" -s. I started sobbing even more when I realized it was really him, but this wasn't pain, it was mostly relief, but so many emotions were washing over me, "Is it... is it really you?" I asked. "It's really me, Cass, I'm here," "But, but how? I saw you dead... I saw you on that field... Was that not real?" I had so many questions. He had been gone just a few moments ago, I had felt he wasn't there... "It was real, I have honestly no idea how you did that, but you brought me back, Cass," he said, stroking my hair softly. "I did WHAT?? HOW?" "I don't know how, darling. But you know, the prophecy I mentioned, that was definitely about you," "Yeah, I need you to explain that to me, I have no idea what you're talking about," "Yeah, neither do I" said Shuri from behind my back, "You had 0% survival chance five minutes ago and now you are sitting there, completely healthy... I consider myself pretty smart but even I can't explain that.." "I can.." said Strange, who stepped into the doorway, "I found the legend, the one about "the worthiest one of all"," he said. "It's a legend about a prophecy that's been around since the beginning of time, but since there's no certain resource it's been thought to not be legit," he started explaining. "So what am I? What does it mean?" I asked, looking back and forth between Strange and Loki. "Well," Loki started, "The prophecy said, that one day a hero would use the help of the Infinity stones to save the whole universe, that they wouldn't want or do anything selfish with the powers the stones could give, and with that, they would prove themselves to be worthy. Prove it to the stones. And then they'd become one with the soul stone that holds a special place amongst all the stones." "So when I stopped Thanos.." I started, as I tried to make some sense out of it, "You proved yourself worthy," finished Strange. "But I wished for you to save Loki, wasn't that a bit selfish?" "You didn't wish to save him, you wished to bring his body home and you wished for me to do my best, and you were willing to sacrifice yourself for that without even the slightest doubt.." Strange explained, "I mean that sounds EXTREMELY selfless to me," commented Shuri. "It was," said Loki, softly smiling at me with so much love and pride. He then turned to Strange, "But how did she make me return?" he asked, "Can you explain that part too?" "Not exactly," said Strange, "I didn't really know it was something to research, I just found out about you now that I came to tell her about the other parts," But somehow it all made sense to me now, and I knew exactly what had brought Loki back, and it wasn't just me. I hadn't magically acquired the power to bring anyone back from death, in fact, it was just him. "I can explain that," I then said, surprising everyone with those words. I turned to Loki, "The stone became one with me, right? So it became one with all of me. But a part of me lives in you, Loki, and died with you. And a part of you lives in me too. And so with you and me on the different sides, the stone was being torn, but it's not an easy one to break, so instead of us breaking it apart, it pulled us back together. It would otherwise not be able to work, being split into pieces like that." Loki seemed to understand exactly what I had meant. He knew exactly what it felt like to have a part of yourself stored in someone else so you could hold a part of them. He placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled me onto his lips. Was about time, we had been apart for way too long. But now everything felt right again, it all fell into place, it was alright. "The legend of soulmates.." said Shuri then, she seemed to be happy about it, her smile was hearable in her voice. "The what?" asked Strange then. "The legend of soulmates. Come on, are you telling me you haven't heard of it?! It's like in every ancient history book here in Wakanda!?" I turned myself to face her, Loki's hands still around me. I was not sure I'd ever let him let go of me ever again. "Shuri, we are in Wakanda for our first time, remember?" "Oh, yeah, right, sorry," she said, then chuckled, "You'll never forget the visit though, that's for sure," we all laughed, even Strange let a smile form onto his face, but that quickly went away as he was still curious about the legend, "So, wanna tell us about the legend, Shuri?" "Right, it's a legend about how every soul has a mate, and when they fall in love they become one. If one would be taken from another, the one remaining would never be whole again. And finding your soulmate would cure all the pain the past has caused to either of them and together they can be invincible, if they really are soulmates," she explained, "I personally always thought it's a nice story and that's all it is, I didn't believe in it, but now it's hard not to," I smiled. Strange then asked Shuri if he could read one of these books she mentioned so that he could understand it better, and they left. I turned to Loki, we were still sitting on the floor. "Soulmate. I like that." I said, smiling at him. He answered with a chuckle and then added, "I love you, Cass" "I love you too, more than anything or anyone ever could love," I wrapped my hands around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close as he could, gently running his fingers up and down my back. "You're never allowed to leave me again, Loki," I stated. I was barely handling losing him this once, I could never bear that again. The feelings of the past days kept washing over me again and again, his dead eyes randomly popping up in my head. "Never." I was now sobbing, tears wetting his skin beneath my head. "I never will, not if it's up to me," he said, trying to calm me. He knew I was hurting, still. He had been hurting too, but the fact that he had saved me was enough for him to be okay with it. But I hadn't been able to save him, even though he was here now I had lost him and he knew I was hurting so much more because of that. All he wanted to do now was take the pain away from me, it was killing him that he couldn't. But he still tried and held me close for quite a long time until I finally calmed down and it was no longer way too overwhelming.