Loki, my darling

XXIV

Loki ran straight to me when I had fallen onto the sand, he had no idea how or what had just happened or if I was okay. I'm not even sure I knew if I was okay. He sat down beside me and pulled my head onto his lap, I looked up to him. His eyes were so beautiful, but they were also hurt and very worried, but before I would start explaining to him what exactly had happened and where we now were I pulled his face down to kiss mine. It was a bit weird to kiss him upside down like that, but it wasn't a bad weird, I was just unused to it. But technically there was nothing in this situation I wasn't unused to, it was all new, and not everything was new in a good way like the upside-down-kiss. I had thoughts pacing in my head, some trying to hide, some trying to get out, some fighting each other, it was a whole mess. I was a whole mess.

"So, wanna explain where we are, how we got here, what's with the walls, and what now?" Loki asked, as the last thing he understood was us being overburdened with all the questions, then all of his painful memories coming flushing back and me pulling us out of there while he was still in shock. He hadn't been able to pay much attention to my near-fight situation with the guards who wanted to stop us. He had been dealing with keeping himself together at that moment. And the next thing he knew we were here. So I got that he had a lot of questions, but my brain was barely working, and asking them in a row like that was just a tad too much, "One question at a time please," I asked, having lost track of his words halfway through the previous sentence, "Right, sorry, um are you okay?" he then asked, I gave him a nod as I didn't want him to worry. Actually I wasn't sure, but I also wasn't sure about not being okay, so technically I wasn't lying either. He seemed to believe me, because he moved onto the next question, "Where are we?" "On this small isolated island near New-Zealand, if that tells you anything. We're safe here, for now at least, I put up some protective walls, tucking us away from the rest of the world, but I have no idea how strong they actually are," I explained as I felt my strength coming back a bit and I sat myself up. "Why are we here?" he asked then, "Not that I would mind being alone with you, that's the ideal, but I feel like the protective walls are up for something... was it something the two guards said?" I nodded, my face now more serious as I knew I was wanted by the government, something I would not have expected to happen after saving the world. "The government wants to weaponize the infinity stone in me, they want to run tests on me and stuff like that, without my permission. They think the stone is "their property"..." I tried to explain it, and he seemed to know what that meant. He pulled me into a hug and said, "I'll never let them get to you, we are safe now, you hid us away pretty well and pretty far too," I felt tears starting to run down my face. Why was my life just one suffering after another..? I had lost all my friends with this running away, they were probably told that I had gone mad and was now the enemy and all these bad things. At least Loki was here, he was all I had left now... "But how did we even get here? And how did you make the wall?" he then asked, as the last time he checked I had only become one with a single infinity stone. And that one didn't offer the power to travel through space or create pocket realities. So I explained to him how when the stone was in danger alongside me it would connect to the other stones and thereby allows me to use fragments of the other stones. Even of the ones that Strange, knowing what the government would do with the stones if they got them, had Wanda destroy. Now there actually were just three stones left - mine, Strange's, and Vision's. And with the other two definitely out of the government's reach, they wanted mine even more.

We sat there like that for a little while, watched the sun rise higher, and make the light dance differently on the waves. It was the next morning here already, about 10 am by my guess. "Loki," I then said and looked at him, "Why did you never tell me about your past?" His eyes fell serious, silent, you could see he was thinking back onto all those years of suffering he had faced alone, which he hadn't told anyone about. "Well, you didn't ask.." he said silently, looking into his lap and avoiding eye contact, "and I was afraid you wouldn't believe me. That's why I haven't told anyone about most of the things, people have a tendency to call me a liar, not trust my words, have my "actions speak for me".." You could really feel the pain in his voice, he was so broken by nobody trusting him or believing in him when all he wanted was to be good enough. Seeing him like that was the most awful thing ever, he was so broken... I climbed onto his lap and put my arms around him. I wasn't good with words and I knew it, but I was going to do my best to make him feel as loved, trusted, and safe as he always made me feel, "Loki, my dear, I will always trust every word you say, I think you are the sincerest most gentle, kind and selfless person I have ever met. And I lived in the same house with some of the greatest heroes in the Universe. You are also so strong, I honestly think most souls wouldn't have made it through everything you did." He had tears running down his face, I wiped them away and looked into his eyes. "I love you more than anything in this whole Universe, Loki," "I love you too, Cass, and I have been told I am incapable of love, so that's quite something," I chuckled, "Yeah, and I was sure I could never really be loved, you are the only one who has been able to prove the opposite, making you the best at loving, so don't listen to a word those "others" say," He was so grateful, eyes full of love, admiration, and desire. I had that desire burning inside me too. And that love, that admiration, all of it. I closed my eyes and gently pushed my lips against his, then slid them open to let our tongues dance and lead the way so that we could once again, finally, complete each other in every way. And down that path we went, kissing the hell out of each others' skins, probably almost burning down the island with the heat our touches made. This time it felt all so much more natural, I wasn't nervous, I wasn't scared, all I felt was love. And well everything else on this island, as my senses were burning. I felt the smell of the blue flowers deep in the forest, I felt the taste of the oranges growing on the tree on the other coast, felt the waves of the ocean caressing the sands and the winds fighting with the trees. Everything inside our little hideaway reality I was able to feel. But I especially felt Loki. And he was all that really mattered.