Loki, my darling

XVIII

I opened my eyes and found myself standing on an empty flat field. There was nothing there, not even in the sky, it was just all blank. I then noticed a somewhat familiar figure standing a few hundred meters from me. It was him. It was Loki. "Loki..?" I first whispered to myself in disbelief. "LOKI!" I then yelled, realizing it really was him, and started running towards him. I stopped about a meter before him. "Cass, is it really you?" he asked and I nodded. He seemed sad about it, broken by me being there, "What, why... Why are you here? I made him promise he wouldn't touch you... You were supposed to be safe.." "I killed him, Loki, we won," "But why are you here, Cass?" he asked, sadness in those now again living-looking eyes. He reached his hand to me and I reached mine to him, but he went right through me. I panicked. Why couldn't I touch or feel him?! I tried to jump into his arms and wrap myself around him, but instead, I fell right through. I tried again, but nothing. It's as if I was a ghost, a hologram... He looked surprised at first, but then confusion covered his face, followed by a realization that seemed to relieve him somehow. "Why can't I feel you?" I asked him, my voice breaking. I hadn't felt him in what already felt like forever and I couldn't bear it. There would be no way I'd spend an actual eternity here just going through him every time I would try to touch him. "It's because you're not really here, Cass," he said. That only confused me more, it felt pretty real to me. "Am I dreaming?" I asked, but he shook his head, "You held the stones, didn't you?" I had no clue what that had to do with this but gave him a nod, "Then you're just visiting. You are so much more powerful than I thought you were. I've read about you in legends - the worthiest one of all," he looked proud, but I had no clue what that meant. "What are you talking about, Loki?" I asked, I didn't understand a thing he was going on about, "I have no time to explain to you, you're gonna have to find out yourself. It's time for you to go back now," "Go back? But I'm dead, otherwise, I wouldn't be here with you. Would I..?" he shook his head, "No, you're not dead, now go live, for me AND for yourself... and one last thing.." I was confused and I felt the ground slowly disappearing from beneath me. "Promise me, you won't harm yourself, ever," Loki said firmly, but somehow still in a gentle tone. "I can't... you're not there... I... no I can't," "Yes, yes you can. Now promise me." "Okay... okay. I'll do my best," I felt tears running down my face. This was goodbye, wasn't it? "I love you, Cass," he said, but before I could reply with the same the ground beneath me completely disappeared. My powers didn't seem to work here either and so I fell into a black hole, the endless nothingness filling the space around me. I just kept falling and even the hole I had fallen into disappeared. It was just black now. Then suddenly it stopped and I opened my eyes, only to find myself in an empty hospital-like room.

I was lying on a bed, with some wires connecting me to the machines next to the bed. I looked around but didn't see anything really special until looking out the window. I was still in Wakanda, which meant it couldn't have been too long since the battle. They were still dealing with the cleanup. I tore off the wires and started to get up just as Strange walked in. "Oh, you're already awake, I'm surprised," he said. "Why?" "Well, because you should be dead after squeezing five infinity stones inside your fist for almost ten minutes," "Then why am I not dead?" I asked as I really needed to know, I kind of wished I was... "I have no clue," said Strange and sat on my bed next to me. "Loki said something about me being "the worthiest one of all" from some prophecy.." I said as I thought about the confusing sentences he had given me. I was holding onto every syllable he had told me. His voice was still echoing in my ears and I was hoping it'd do that forever. "When did he say that?" asked Strange, who seemed to be confused, "Just now, after the battle, I woke up in this empty field and Loki was there with me and we talked. But according to him, I wasn't really there, because I couldn't touch him, I was like a ghost.." I explained. Maybe it was silly, maybe it was just a dream after all... but Strange seemed to know what kind of a place I was talking about and had a look of compelling fascination on his face. "I got to go," he stood up and started walking towards the door, "Wait," I shouted, "Where's Loki?" I asked him. There was still a part of me that hoped he could somehow be alive. I hadn't accepted him being gone yet. I couldn't. It'd crush me, destroy me, chew me up, and spit me out... "Right, Loki.." he said turning to me, "We did everything we could, but we couldn't save him... we've been keeping his body "alive" so you could say goodbye. It's barely working, but it's what you deserve after saving us all.." he sighed, "He is in the room opposite of yours." He then left, kind of in a hurry, leaving me there trying to make his words make sense. I walked out of my room and opened the door that was opposite it. And there he was, lying on a bed, eyes closed and about a million wires attached to him... I felt tears burning my cheeks as I stepped closer. I placed my hand on his cheek, he was warm and everything, but I could somehow sense he wasn't there. He really wasn't. I fell down, as more tears started bawling down my face. I could barely see, but I wanted to feel him close one last time. Just one last time, please... I climbed next to his body on the narrow bed and hid my face onto his wire-covered chest. I felt the sadness take me over, the pain grew from my heart and my mind until it had taken over my whole body and it felt almost as if it was just as real physically as it was inside me. I could feel the stabbing pain actually covering my body. I clenched my fists and tried to bear it, but I couldn't, so I got out a scream and let go.