I should have known how things would be.
Why am I always the last to see?
I put so much faith in who I am.
I thought I was the only one who can.
I should’ve known not to trust.
I’ve never been one with much luck.
I trusted myself when I should’ve doubted.
I should’ve known the second faith sprouted.
There was the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
But I brushed it off and said it was nothing.
I shouldn’t have believed I could complete the task.
I shouldn’t have felt the need to ask.
I should’ve known the second it began.
But I put so much faith in myself I thought I’d win.
The second I stepped up to the plate.
It felt like a punch to the face.
The little voice in my head told me I’d fail.
I should’ve listened instead of going off the rails.
I’m not sure when I stopped listening.
Maybe it was when it became crippling.
I should’ve known when I started to brag.
Before I even had it in the bag.
I pretended like I was doubting.
I pretended like the voices inside weren’t shouting.
They were screaming for me to turn around.
Then got louder when I started to drown.
I should’ve known not to trust myself for a second.
I thought the voices wouldn’t win if I didn’t let it.
Now I’m left with a mountain of self doubt
And a mind that loves to shout.
The moment is cursed to be on replay.
At the front of my mind each day.
I should’ve listened to my instincts that were never wrong.
It’s just a different verse of the same song.
I should’ve known better than to believe I could do something so simple.
Now the voices and doubts inside have tripled.
I should’ve known I couldn’t do it.
There’s really nothing more to it.
I should’ve known it from the start.
When I got that stabbing pain in my heart,
I keep telling myself that I should’ve known
But the truth is, I just want to go home.
YOU ARE READING
In The Dark
PoetryPeople always say, 'There's no reason to be depressed.' or 'what do you have to be depressed about.' alot of the times its, 'you seem fine to me.' yes, I do seem fine, but I'm breaking underneath the surface. They don't see behind the mask we all ho...