In The Dark

Battle in my Mind

Sometimes I get depressed,

And my life becomes a mess. 

More than it was. 

And I can't control it or hit pause. 

Even though i wish i could. 

Because times like these I don't feel like I'm a person thats good. 

People tell me to look at the bright side of life. 

But there is no bright side, there's no light. 

I feel as if im surrounded in darkness. 

And suffocated by the heartless. 

I feel bound in a chain of self hate

Feeling the pain of all this weight. 

no one noticing the state of mind that I am in. 

No one asking me how I've been. 

I'm constantly in a battle with my own mind. 

In a box that's so confined. 

And im not okay. 

I feel it ripping through my brain. 

Eating me up from inside. 

Until all i want to do is hide and cry. 

I'm ashamed of the way I feel,

Because then everyone says that it's not that big of a deal. 

Even though I'm hiding my urge to die. 

They still say I have no reason to feel this awry. 

Though i know there's no definite reason behind the depression. 

I feel like somehow it's a beg for attention. 

Even though I know its not. 

I still get lost in the negative thoughts.

Sometimes I learn to pull myself out of the cycle. 

But other times I get caught in the denial. 

And constantly question my own intentions. 

And my need for perfection. 

I question myself constantly,

and always tread cautiously. 

I always told myself I was broken,

But it's not the first time I have misspoken. 

We are not broken or unloved. 

We are only slightly bent and in need of someone.