In The Dark

I am Broken

I know the real me is slipping away,

More and more every single day. 

I feel the demons on the inside, 

Begging to see what’s on the outside. 

Gnawing at the bars that hold them in place. 

Trying to get free of the cage. 

They growl to be set free. 

Because they can’t just let me free. 

They’re trying to get released. 

By making me upset which releases the beast. 

Trying to control the fire of rage,

it burns the lasso that I had made. 

Made with words of positivity, 

It was no match for the negativity. 

Too much damage had been done. 

I could be saved by no one. 

Being trapped in my own head for years. 

Trying to stop the never ending river of tears. 

I refused to let anyone see me cry. 

Refused to let anyone know what I was thinking on the inside.

I made myself smile and laugh,

And have some hope that all bad things shall pass. 

I thought it was just some tough times. 

But it’s been years since I’ve gone a day without crying. 

I’m scared that if I fail, life will be worse than before. 

And that no one will ever love me at all. 

I feel in my heart that this is what I was meant to do.

To let go of my pain and to leave you. 

I want to stay but at the same time I don’t. 

I’ve known all my life that I am broke. 

When I was young I knew it well,

That all my life would be hell. 

But yet I stayed because I was scared. 

But that was when I thought people really cared. 

Now I know I’m a burden to everyone. 

Even those that said I was enough. 

I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stay alive. 

Goodbye, one last time.