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A/N: NOAH IS NOT A BROTHER THERE ISN'T INCEST IN THIS STORY!!
Carry on, thank you

Don't let the tears fall
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Nyctophilia (n.)
Love of darkness or night. Finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness.

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River Rose

The dark. I find it so comforting. I didn't always like it though but, try being alone in complete darkness for a while, after some time you become friends with it and the shadows lurking around, look hard enough and you find out that monsters...they stare back.

Suddenly, you're one of them and you didn't even realize. That's what happens to those of us who have nothing and no one. Those who've had such a hard life you don't even know what a good one is supposed to be like.

Look at it like this...you are alone at the sea, floating on a small canoe with only the moon to light your path. Afraid of what creatures are waiting for the right moment to strike.

You know there's nothing around but you hold on to that little ounce of hope that you might find something, someone.

That's my life. I can't see anything past where I'm at right now but, I hoped and I dreamed to have a better life. A life in which I don't have to be afraid of what can happen. A life where...I'm not alone.

But hope? Hope is the most addictive drug. It tricks you into believing there's something more, something better. Fuck hope, fuck all of those who still believe it'll lead them somewhere because it won't.

I had a first row sit to watch how hope destroyed everything and everyone around me, but specially..it wrecked me.

So I believe in the darkness, there's something epic about not knowing what's around you. You just...exist. You get to pretend to not know what is in front of you because you don't see it, it is quiet, lonely and..peaceful.

Sometimes the dark is the only comfort I have when it strikes 1am. The only thing saving me from having to acknowledge what's on top of me, what's happening to me.

The things that have left me broken and hollow inside but, the moon is beautiful despite all the harsh edges and holes it has in it..isn't she?

But then again, beauty is a curse for me... and the beasts on my fairytale? They are the ones you'll never want to see, not even a kiss can set them free.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

I wake up with a start, Oakley is crying. I look at the time on my phone: 3:22 am. Yeah, that's about right. He always wakes up at 3:30. I get up from my crappy twin bed and make my way to the walk-in closet.

We are not allowed to have any more rooms than this so I had to set up Oak on the tiny space, Camilla and I share the room and beside ours is my foster brother Milos' room.

"Shhh it's okay baby, we'll change your diaper and you'll be better alright?" I tell a sleepy 8 month old Oakley as I pick him up and take him to my bed, I fed him a bottle an hour ago so he'll be full for another two.

Summer isn't here so she's must've taken another client since she's normally back at 2:30. It's a good thing, she'd be literally trying to kill Oak right now because he's crying.

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