Too Close For Comfort (LH) (PT1&2)

BC: Don't Stop

By the time I got out the shower Kaytlin was ready, and man did she look stunning! Her shirt was plain, a long sleeve black shirt, but the rest of her outfit stopped me in my tracks. She had on a black leather skirt, cutting off halfway up her thigh. Even her shoes made me drool! Tight black boots that covered her knees. Then she turned around; my heart skipped a beat.

"How do I look?" She asked it innocently, like she wasn't trying to look like a goddess.

"Incredible," I spoke faster than I could think. She smiled, a small smile. She was pleased with my answer. I wonder if she believed me.

I was walking on eggshells around her. Terrified that she was going to leave me, all alone, and I'd never see her again. If she did I couldn't be mad. That's exactly what I would have done in her situation.

I bet she felt played! I knew she felt betrayed. She could say it was fine, she can claim to forgive me, but why would she actually do that? Why would you just forgive someone without having them prove they've changed in some way? Or prove that they genuinely feel bad for their actions?

I did. I felt awful about the situation! I was disappointed in myself. I know after the divorce and Josie and Mark that I've been acting differently. It's no excuse though! I don't want to be a toxic douchebag! I don't want to be this person anymore. I don't recognize myself.

My only solid reassurance was that she still wore my necklace. That small piece of jewelry gave me hope. I'll cling to that hope, till I can hold her again.

"We better get going," I held the door open for her as we walked to my car. I felt under dressed: black t-shirt, black skinny jeans. Somehow we ended up marching, not quite sure how that happened. Not that I minded.

She didn't say much during the ride. Kaytlin rolled her window down and admired the night. The air circulated her perfume. I took a long breath through my nose. Never again will I take a moment with her for granite! I turned the radio down so she could hear me, "why do you always look starstruck when you stare at the sky?"

Without missing a beat she answered, "because there's a whole world out there. It's a sneak peek at freedom," her head was resting on her arm. Her hair blowing in the wind.

Was this what she thought about? Freedom? Did she feel trapped? Was she still planning on running away? This question has lingered in my mind since her birthday. Did she still want to run away?

I wanted to ask. I had so many questions! People talk about running away all the time, but this girl had actually planned it. In fact she put the plan in motion as soon as she came to Australia!

Despite my need for information I kept my mouth shut. There was a chance I wouldn't like her answer, and that possibility silenced me.

It didn't take long for me to find some random party. Following the line of cars and bright lights always led to somewhere good. We found a large house, two stories, I had no idea who lived in it! Place was packed!

Honestly I didn't want to take Kaytlin out when she looked like this. I knew she'd get attention from other guys, and I knew I'd get jealous. But, who am I to tell her what she can and can't wear? She can do whatever she damn well pleases. I would just have to keep an eye on her. Keep her safe. Her self preservation seems to be lacking.