Seasons Of Desire

Chapter 30

I woke up around 7am. Alone. James side, where we fell asleep together, was cold. It's 7am, where the hell was he? I stood up, throw James hoodie over, and walked into the kitchen. Maybe he made breakfast. The apartment felt empty, not like James house. Maybe it was because everything was new. Instead of breakfast I found a little note beside the coffee maker.
I went to the office pretty early. Didn't want to wake you up. If you need anything, call Stuart. He will drive you whereever you wanna go. What about dinner? J.
No kiss, no I love you, nothing. I took a deep breath and took a long shower. My first day in new york and I'm sitting in the apartment alone, great.

When I was ready, I decided to send James a little message.
Good morning. I will do a little sight seeing today. Can't wait for our dinner. I love and miss you. B.

Within seconds I got an answer.
Have fun and take care. Stuart will pick you up at 7:30. Maybe you wanna buy something nice. The creditcard is in your wallet. Please you it.

Wow, that was the answer? I was a little hurt. Even he was stressed, he could write that he missed me, or loved me, too. But nothing. I took the elevator and went to the lobby. "Ma'm." Stuart's voice made me spon around. "Blaire, please. I'm not that old." I mentioned and he nodded.

Stuart drove me to the times square and the light and the billboards were amazing. New York was full of snow and the christmas decoration made me feel like a little child. I shopped some souveniers, but I used my credit card. I didn't mean to use the money of my boyfriend. It felt wrong.

The sun set really early, even it wasn't the brightest day ever. Around 6 I drove back to the loft. I needed to take a hot shower and got ready for the dinner with James. "Miss Blaire? Are you ready to leave?" Stuart asked. I didn't see him coming. Was he in the loft all the time? He seemed to be more a bodyguard than a driver. And Miss Blaire? Hell, at least he calls me Blaire somehow. I chose my beautiful black dress and some heels, my hair was wavy and decent make up. I didn't need to buy anything new, I had my stuff with me. "Yes, I am."

The black limousine needed 30 minutes to drive to a restaurant in Manhattan. And I thought that LA traffic was aweful. Hah... Stuart opened the door and helped me out. "Hey Blaire." James said. I turned around and saw him. He looked amazing in a black suit, but he looked even older and more grown up. Like a total different person. "Hey." I wispered and smiled. But I stopped as I saw how James looked at my dress. "What?" I asked. "That's your old dress. Why didn't you buy a new one. Macy's had some beautiful from Gucci or Yves Saint Lauren. I gave you the credit card." he mentioned. "Uhm, James. I don't wanna spend your money. I thought you like that dress?" I was confused. Why was he so confused about my outfit? "Of course I do, but... ugh, maybe we should eat at home?" WHAT? "Because of my dress?" I asked confused. "No, I mean, you look beautiful, don't get me wrong. I'm just tired." he answered. I was dissapointed and hurt. Hot tears burned in my eyes. Without any words I turned around and climbed in the fond of the car.

Why we drove back home we didn't talk. James tried to take my hand but I pulled it away. He always said that he didn't care about those things, but in real life he did.
As we entered the loft James asked: "Hey babe, what do you wanna have? Lobster and Champagne?" he asked and smiled. "I'm not hungry anymore." I said and walked into the bedroom. I throw my heels and the dress on the ground and pulled my shirt over. I lyed down and pulled the blanked up to my chin. James knocked on the door, carefully, opened the door. He sat down on his side of the bed. "Blaire, hey. I'm sorry. It was a tough day." he wisped and stroked my side, taking a deep breath. I turned around. His face was so beautiful in the light of the moon. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked. "No, it's just so new." I went over and snuggled in his arms. James wrapped his arm around me, holding me close. "Do you love me?" I asked. I wispered, I hoped he didn't hear me. but he did, lifted my chin up. "Do you really think I don't love you anymore?" he asked. "Well, you didn't say it the last days, even I said it. And tonight you made me feel not pretty enough, and..." he but cut me up with his lips. "Of course I do love you, Blaire. I need you like the air to breath. I'm sorry for making you feel like this. And because of your dress, I prefer to see you naked." and there was the smile I loved. "So let's have dinner, baby." he pecked my lips and liftet me up. I giggled.

________________________________

What do you think about James right now? And what should Blaire do? Buy the expensive things, to support James and don't argue anymore about such things? What do you think? xoxo