Yours Truly, Amari [Completed]

Chapter Nine

CHAPTER NINE

BETA AMARI

WHY AM I DENYING IT? I  asked my inner self with frustration. I was so sure already, that she is my mate! My second-mate to be exact. Amari Queen is my mate— ang babaeng 'yon. But why? Why did the moon goddess gave me another mate wherein I am not yet ready for another affection? Damn it.

It was still shocking for me after I saw and smelled Amari Queen in a short distance— I have confirmed it that it's not just an illusion but very truthful. Fate is not joking with me. Nakakahimatay, goddess!

But— I cannot keep her, yet. It will be selfish in my part but the mate bond is already taking its effect to the both of us. Alam ko kung bakit nagiging emosyonal si Queen and that is because of the mate bond that have finally manifested inside her. She will feel the pull as much as I do, mas malakas nga lang ang hila sa'kin.

I am not ignorant of Queen's liking of me, I know. I would not be a Beta if I am not a keen observant— I knew it eversince. But, again, I don't want to be selfish— masama ugali ko pero unfair sakan'ya— I maybe like her as a woman, sakan'ya lang naman ako na-totomboy minsan— but I am dead sure that I still love Wenley more than anything— there is a whole lot difference between liking someone and loving someone...

and just by remembering him, it made my heartache again with all its content. Bakit gano'n? Bakit mahal ko pa rin ang gagong 'yon? Nakaka-tangina lang.

Masakit pa rin sa'kin ang lahat. Curse it! But it still hurts like hell. Wenley and I had blissful memories together that I still reminisce and still dwelling with those times— so, why would I keep Queen with myself if I still love Wenley and still cannot let go of him even after all the things he have done to me? Sometimes, I would ask myself why? Why do I still love him— but then, damn, I also don't know.

So, why am I denying it? Why am I not yet saying to Queen that she is now my freaking mate? It's because I don't want to make a fire that I cannot even take obligation of. Queen is a very important woman in my life, surely, and I don't want to take her without certainty. She deserves affirmation and not just a half-baked affection.

But how long will I go? Nang dahil sa mate bond na 'yan— I am being pulled to her even though I wanted to cease a fire from happening to the both of us. Ang mate bond ay mate bond, it will be the catalyst to start an affection. Ito ang nagdadala sa dalawang tao na maglapit sa isa't isa.

But love is not part of the mate bond— love is being worked out between two people. I didn't have this love for Wenley just right after I met him— we have worked it out to its utmost content— mate bond just made the magic.

I looked at her from the passenger seat where she was seating and laughing with Scarlet's crazy stories. Tsk. Hindi na n'yan titigil kakatawa 'yan.

And one more thing, since I am a werewolf with a very dominant wolf— I am being too possessive of Queen and I don't like that at all but I cannot stop that wolfish part of me from possessing Queen— it has been a werewolf nature to be very territorial. And I don't want to go to that kind of extent, she is her own person and I don't want to dictate her feelings nor control it— pero nakakagigil lang talaga minsan at hindi ko 'yon mapigilan, sorry na in advance, babae. Mabuti na lang hindi gaanong lapitin ng lalaki si Queen— baka maubusan ako ng pasensya— baka masabunutan ko mga 'yon.