Yours Truly, Amari [Completed]

Chapter Twenty-Seven

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. Who doesn't want to love and be loved in return? Who doesn't want to be chosen? Who doesn't want to be—happy? Funny, I don't know if life really loves to play— it was so enigmatic that no one would know what would be its next move.

And funny how you will come to the point of your life finding your purpose but ending up asking your worth— asking if you're enough or you just never will...

I fainted after all the deep piercing in my heart— I thought it would stop, but I am so wrong . And the last thing I saw is that fvcking empty altar. Tangina 'yan. I looked at the calm waves and moon overhead habang yakap ang sarili sa lamig ng gabi.

I wiped my tears. I stopped myself from tearing up. But does the heart stop from breaking? Paulit-ulit na nagrereplay sa utak ko ang nangyari. Hindi ko maiwasan tanungin— bakit gano'n? Ako ba 'yung mali? May mali ba sa'kin? Hindi ba ako naging sapat? May nagawa ba 'ko?

My lips quiver again and I break down— again— and again. I dipped my head down between my knees and cry my heart out.

I want to hate that man. But then I realized, I took risk with this— and the cons? It was not what I asked for. It was not what I wished to happen but it happened. I took risk believing that I will and I can— pero siguro gano'n talaga. Kahit ginawa mo na siguro lahat ng best mo— that you gave all your cards away— if you are meant to not have it— then it will never be.

What I just know now is that— I am so tired. I am very tired.

KINABUKASAN we drove off back to the pack house and I shut down myself from people.

I was walking back to my cabin with my packed clothes. Doon din sana kami magho-honeymoon. I even brought myself a sexy lingerie— I laughed lifelessly as my heart clenched as I remember how we talked and planned about our wedding, our honeymoon, how many would be our children.

"Queen." I heard Pristine from my behind as I gripped the knob of my door.

Huminga ako ng malalim before I looked back with a smile on my face. "Uy. Tin— Alpha, nandito pala kayo." I exclaimed happily.

"Tara pasok tayo. Gusto niyo ba ng coffee? Ah— it's not good for a preggy, pero may prutas ako sa loob. You would probably love it—"

"Queen, 'wag naman gan'yan." She interjected and embraced me. "Just let it out, 'wag mo namang kimkimin." She continued.

My lips quiver and I embraced her back and sobbed my heart out again for a million times. I mourn my heart— I mourn all the pain that I have kept inside me. I mourn for a life that he saved and he chose while I died and left behind the gloom.

I am hearing Pristine little sobs too. Kaya pinigilan ko na 'cause she's pregnant, she cannot just stress out because I was in pain. I pulled back and looked at Tin.

"Don't cry Tin." I told her in between my hiccups and push myself to smile at her.

"How can I not cry? You're— you're being like that." She said deliberately kaya natahimik ako. "Queen, alam kong professional ka na sa pagtatago ng nararamdaman mo pero 'wag naman gan'yan." She sobbed even more kaya niyakap na s'ya ng asawa nito.