CadyChaos (A Chilled Chaos Fanfiction)

Chapter 8 - The Demons and Hell on Earth

(Trigger warning - cutting and depression. Talk of suicide)

Cady's POV

"So if there is one thing you should know-" Adam started to me. We were playing TTT together for the first time, and I was ecstatic.

"Never Trust Nanners." I finished for him. "For watching all of you for this long, I've figured that much." They laughed. I made a joke. I'm funny. They laughed.

Don't be ridiculous you aren't funny. They were probably laughing at you.

Demons. Those are my depression demons. Monsters if you must. They say those things all the time. I've half believed them as true.

"NOOOOO! Chilled screamed. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck." I giggled. Like legit giggled. What the hell is wrong with me?

Adam laughed in his dolphin laugh and said in his 'I totally know what happened, I just don't want you to think I do voice' "What happened?" I recognized the voice and instantly knew. The banana man was a bad man.

"Well, I think Adam may be a traitor" Minx said, and I nodded, then blushed realizing they couldn't see me.

Your stupid. Worthless. They deserve better friends. Ones who aren't idiots.

The map we were in was one with lots of tall towers. Adam must be sniping, but unluckily for him, I was in the tallest tower looking for him.

I did a quick perimeter check and then scanned the area.

"Straight Minx, straight!" Chilled screamed.

"I wish I understood that direction." Minx said, then screamed minutes later. Just me and Adam left.

Jump of the tower and do what you wish you were brave enough to do in real life. Do it. Jump. Die. Jump.

Ignoring the demons, I looked through the scope and found Adam. Before I shot him he said "Looks like it is just you and me, Cady."

"Nope," I replied. "It's just me." I said and shot him.

He gasped loudly and dramatically. I could just see his facial expression as he said "Whaaaaat?"

"I was at the tallest tower." I said. "I found, and sniped you. Welcome to reality." I said sarcastically. This was how I was while playing games. Fake. I mean not really. Kinda. It's complicated.

I used to be sassy and sarcastic and witty. Then clinical depression came along and changed me. Gaming brings out the old me.

They all laughed at that comment and we decided to end our videos.

"Wait!" I said quickly. "Before we end the video I have something to say. To all of you and my subscribers. First to you guys, thank you. Thank you for inviting me to play with you, and just thank you in general."

"It's okay," Chilled said. "We want to play with you."

"I'm sure you do, Chilled." Minx said and I laughed.

"And to my subscribers, I'm hoping this will become a regular thing, as this is what you wanted. For so long. But thank you for being there, whether newer or older. I love you guys. You help me lots."

Later on~

Tears streamed down my face, soaking it. I just cut twenty more times in the last five minutes, cutting my figurine as well. The demons have gotten to me. They want me to jump.

Should I?

A few years ago, I would have answered yes. But this is now. That was then.

Now I don't know what my answer would be.

It would be so easy to just end it all. So easy to just jump and be happy.

Or am I already happy?

Alright, so that was the end of this and just to be clear, the italicized parts in this chapter were Cady's demons talking to her. If you've ever been depressed, you'd know that there are little monsters in your head telling you bad things. Also, I do not promote suicide, and if you are thinking of it, talk to me or someone you trust. I promise they will help you feel better. You are beautiful and worth it. I swear.