(this au is originally by GlitchyEx3 [who I can't tag right now]. I suggest you go read her book before this, since this won't make much sense if you don't. For simplicity's sake, I'll give you a very simplified version of the book: basically a bunch of characters from origins are kidnapped and experimented on, causing them to become mob/human hybrids. There:s a lot more than that, but again it's a very simplified version.)
{Mob/Human hybrids you need to know
Bryan/Blaze
Jakey/Elder Guardian
Xylo/Endermen
Ritchie/Ghast
Brandon/Magma Cube
Pat/Zombie
Mario/Wolf
David/Cat
Mitch/Guardian
Marshie/Phantom
Yuki/Spider
Bri/Parrot
Devin/Vex}
Sorry about all that writing, now let's begin to the actual writing you wanted to see! (Also personalities may not be 100% accurate, but that's true for all of these incorrect quotes)
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Random Scientist, holding a gun: tell me the name of god, you fungal piece of shit.
Michael: can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters.
Random Scientist, tears streaming down their face: I'M NOT F*CKING SCARED OF YOU!
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Bryan, waking up randomly at 6am: you eat 100 ears of corn and proclaim yourself the corn king.
Bryan: I eat 101 ears of corn, for it is just another day in the corn fields. *falls back asleep*
Marshi, in a nearby cage: ......what?
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Xylo: when you shake laminated paper and it does the thing.
Bryan: fwuuubufbuwbfwubfufbwufbwubuuuBUWBUBHUFUFBUWBUFBUB
Xylo: exactly.
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Mitch: once I was outside a McDonalds, and this lady screamed "SPEAK ENGLISH" at a pair of young Korean men.
Mitch: and without missing a beat, one of them goes "OOooo I want a nice cup of TEA, look at ME, I'm ENGLISH, I want to eat PLAIN TOAST".
Jakey: that man's my new hero.
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Mario: *feeling pretty sad*
David: did you know that 52k Australians signed a petition to have the Australian currency changed to Dollarydoos.
Mario: ... *giggles*
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Bryan: I just realized "never" is a contraction of "not ever"!
Ritchie: and "blush" is a contraction of "blood rush".
Brandon: and "studying" is a contraction of "student dying".
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Pat *pre-hybrid*: Julius Caesar's assassination was the last time everyone in a group project did their part.
Eden: except 60 people agreed to stab him and he only had 23 stab wounds.
Other scientist: sounds about right.
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Devin: you can tack "and dragons" on any title, and it will be 900% better.
Jakey: Dungeons & Dragons and Dragons.
Bryan: that's twice as many dragons! You literally can't go wrong with this.
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Eden: the most important revolutions. The Russian, the French-
Devin *pre-hybrid*: and dance dance.
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Pat: Christopher Columbus basically commented "first" on a YouTube video that already had 50 million views.
Scientist checking up on him: ...... why...
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Bryan: why are drummers so attractive! Mr. Scientist, can you please explain?
Pat: the bang bang makes us want to bang bang.
Mario: thanks Mr. Scientist.
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Bryan: look, I know we don't always see eye to eye-
Jakey: it's cause your short.
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Scientist the Eden doesn't like: can I ask a dumb question?
Eden: better than anyone I know.
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Yuki: I used to drink milk straight out of the container sometimes.
Devin: a cow!?
Bryan: you drank milk straight from a cow?!
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Bri, three years ago: I wonder where I'll be in three years...
Bri, now: honestly, this wasn't what I was expecting.
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Random Scientist: *bursts into library where Pat and Eden are reading* you two are having sex!
Pat *pre-hybrid*: ...really?
Eden: Pat, why didn't you tell me? I would have put my book down.
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Pat *pre-hybrid*: *texts Eden at 3am*
Eden: *replies*
Pat: WOAH there! What are you doing up this late? Go to bed! This isn't healthy.
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Bryan: *sneezes*
Xylo: ?!??!?!
Bryan: what, not even a bl-
Xylo: are you dying?!
Bryan: what? No it's just allergies-
Xylo: I'M GONNA KILL ALERGIES!
Bryan: that's not how it works-
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Bonus (Origins of Peace [another book by GlitchyEx3] Incorrect Quote):
Kay: Bryan, would you do me the honor of being Jakey's husband?
Jakey: did you just propose to Bryan for me?!
Jon: well someone had to!
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionFNAF Kids, Origins of Olympus, Fairy Tail Origins, Supernatural Origins, TFF FNAF6/7, Origins of Olympus S2, My Hero Origins, Fanmade Origins AUs, DreamSMP AUs, and more! Requests open, but will take awhile
