Incorrect Quotes

OZ High School

(So GlitchyEx3 requested OZ, but since I don't know much about that au I've decided to use their OZ High School au. It's basically OZ characters in a high school setting without zombies. For more info, checkout GlitchyEx3's fan art book cause that's where this au is from.)

[personalities will not be exactly like in they are in OZ, and again I know very little about OZ. As I'm writing this, my wiki is glitching the f*ck out so I can't find info on the characters]

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Mario: *walks downstairs in the middle of the night to see Bryan sitting with Zach and Duke*

Mario: who the fu-

Bryan: these are my friends

Mario: why is that one using you as a pillow.

Zach: your brother has nice thighs, let's all just move on.

Duke: only time I'll ever agree with you.

Narrator: and after saying this, Bryan had to stop his brother from killing the two 

~

Colin: I'm gonna die alone

Xylo: no you're not

Colin: Justin was my safety net, and now he has a crush! I'm gonna end up alone with a snake homeless in the subway!

Xylo: uh-huh. And why's that?

Colin: no one wants to talk to the homeless guy with a snake. ALL THE CHILDREN KNOW TO RUN FROM CRAZY SUBWAY SNAKE MAN!

Xylo: *mumbles* what the f*ck is wrong with you

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Bri: The "how the fuck"s and "why are you so dumb"s don't matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun!

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Xylo: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

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Cookie: Big day today, Micheal. holds up two shirts* Mustard stain or ketchup stain? 

Micheal: Mustard– looks less like blood. 

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Justin, at an awards ceremony: Well, first of all, I'd like to thank Colin, the love of my life, for telling me Leo was going to win, so don't bother to prepare a speech. 

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Podrick: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Austin's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

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Mario: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray labeled "love repellent" on himself*

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Zach: You are a solid 11/10. 

Duke: um, thank- 

Zach! Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

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Justin: *trying to flirt with Bryan during lab*

Bryan: *goes to grab an ingredient*

Duke: who are you?

Justin: oh my god you're buff-

Zach: I know of 8 ways to dispose of a body, you really want to try this?

Justin: I'm out-

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David: what is wrong with you?

Cookie: loade question. Elaborate.

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Austin, pointing to the wall: What color is this? 

Devin: Gray. 

Marshie: Grey. 

Austin, turning to Bri: Now tell them what color you think it is. 

Bri: Dark white.

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Ritchie: You're smiling. What happened? 

Zach: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? 

Bryan: Duke tripped and fell down in the hall today.

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Bryan: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked? 

Mario: It's just you.

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Duke: god, I love Bryan: 

Mario: Yeah, you f*cking better. 

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Bryan: I made this bracelet for you. 

Zach : You know, I'm not really a jewelry person. 

Bryan: You don't have to wear it- 

Zach:: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off. 

~

*Thoughts on stabbing*

 Podrick: Would never stab anyone. 

Bryan: Would stab someone in retaliation. 

Cookie: Yells "I won't hesitate, b*tch!" first. 

Duke: Would stab without warning. 

Zach: Would stab as a warning

~

Podrick: How are you today? 

Micheal: Please don't make me think about my life.

~

Xylo: What do you call disobeying the law? 

Cookie: A hobby. 

Xylo: *crosses his arms* 

Cookie: That I do not engage in. 

~

Zach: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! 

Charlie: It's kind of complicated, but Duke-

Zach: Got it. Forget I asked.

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Micheal: I wish I was a dinosaur. 

Cookie: Why? Cause they're big and scary? 

Micheal: Because they're dead. 

~

Bryan: If you water water, it grows. 

Zach: ...What. 

Duke: He's got a point.

~

Bryan, about Zach and Duke: I don't know if I should be impressed, concerned, flattered, or insulted that they made a thirty minute PowerPoint about my thighs

Mario: that's it, I'm killing them

~

Bonus! Start Again, a book by me-

Bryan: I don't think the therapist is supposed to say 'wow' that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.