CHAPTER 31

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Does anybody know how bad I want this to be a nightmare?
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"You...are diagnosed with a cancer."

With my mouth hanging open I looked straight into Min Jun's eyes hoping this is some kind of a joke. But to my utter dismay the painful, heartbroken look on his face said otherwise.

"Wh- What?!"

The words I muttered were hardly audible. Wetting my lips that has dried a long time ago, I looked back at the piece of white paper with the black lettering. Everytime I read the report my eyes would linger over the lymphocytes level that is far over the necessary level.

My mind felt numb and blank. I didn't know what to think, neither did I know what to ask.

I could feel Min Jun and Sehi's eyes on me. Just like me, they too didn't know where to start explaining from.

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath trying to get ahold of all my emotions before facing my brother.

"So...how bad it is?"

Lips pursed into a thin line, Min Jun stared at me for a good few minutes before hiding his face and trying his best to block the tears threatening to make their way out.

Looking up the ceiling he tried to blink away the tears. Seeing my brother like that made me a lot more scared and I could feel the tears pooling up in my eyes. While I bit my bottom lip to hold back the tears, Sehi moved closer to console Min Jun.

After about ten minutes which felt like a century, Min Jun heaved a deep sigh before looking at me.

"It's...latter stage three. More like four."

Hearing him say thus my mouth dropped open. With my mind gone blank and at a loss of words I stared at the red eyed, tear stained face of my brother.

Unable to look at me he looked down at his feet. His shoulders were moving up and down telling me that he was crying. Sehi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and she too was crying along with him.

About me... I'm still processing what he just said that crying was the last thing on my mind.

"I'm sorry Jieun. I'm so sorry."

Min Jun muttered.

"...I- I should have seen this coming. Ah~ I should've seen your changes. How- How can I call myself a doctor when I can't even save my only sister? Aish!!"

Crying Min Jun mumbled more like to himself.

"So I...am suffering from latter stage 3 Leukemia and... there's barely any hope of living at this stage. What now? Am I gonna die?"

The thought made the pooled tear drops to fall down my cheeks.

"Does- Does that mean...my days are...are numbered?"

I dreaded to hear the answer but I had to know. I wanted a confirmation.

The question made Min Jun cry even harder making me much more scared and lost than I already am.

"Oppa."

I muttered in between tears.

"It umm...about-"

He couldn't finish his sentence. The pain was so much that he burst into tears once again.

"Ah Oppa~ Unnie at least you tell me. Please."

I ended up biting my bottom lip anticipating for the dreadful answer and at the same time to avoid myself from breaking into a crying mess.

"Jieun, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I'm sorry sister. To answer you..."

Brother held a tight grip on Sehi's knee making her stop in the middle of what she was telling. Sniffling Min Jun once again looked at me.

"Four months."

Those two words were enough to make my entire world to crumble into a million pieces. I stood frozen in place for a few good old minutes before I felt this huge urge to scream my mind out.

As if I'm a robot, I stood up from my seat without uttering a single word and hurried towards my room. Once I made sure to lock the door behind me, I let all the bottled up feelings out.

Sliding down against the door I let my pain out.

"I had a lot planed for my life ahead. There's a lot I wished to do. There's a lot more I can grow up in my career. The beautiful future I imagined to have with Jimin...I want to live it. I badly want to live it. But now...that everything will be just a dream."

Negative thoughts kept flowing into my mind as if I've broken some dam. Just like my tears I couldn't get rid of the horrible thoughts that came to suffocate me further.

I don't know for how long I've been crying. But still, I couldn't get a hold of my tears. I couldn't stop the pain I felt in my heart. Unlike other days, that night I couldn't bring myself to smile.



                TO BE CONTINUED....

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