Foster + j.j.

xxx.

*alyssa*

For most of the day I sat at the desk in silence looking at the wall, with tears rolling down my face.

I'm so sick and tired of this. Looking at the wall, feeling sorry for myself. I don't know if you can blame me though. My disorder is similar to many others but it's so sickening to know that I'm different. Don't you go saying "different is good". In my case, it's not. I don't talk to people. I don't have good grades. The only friend I have I bet probably only feels sorry for me and JJ. It's all sympathy. I know he doesn't care.

I just want to be normal. Not some girl with a disorder that is holding her back. Between panic attacks and awkward conversations, I wondered why everyone hated me.

Everything Jack said was true. Everything that everyone says is negative about me is true. People can tell me that it's not but they don't know me. They will never know me. Joe only knew me, but guess what? Joe isn't here anymore and he's never coming back.

I've always had dreams about Joe adopting me into his family with open arms but he never did, and it never will happen.

My phone buzzed in my lap. I looked down.

New text from Cat:

"Umm... You might want to look at this... http://youtu.be/aqgZDhhksa4"

I clicked the link. YouTube came up on my phone.

Jack and Jack - Like That (Feat. Skate) (Official music video)

I think this is the video JJ was talking about.

The video started off with the guys just chilling in front of some house. The music played and four very perky girls walked down the street. Gilinsky began to sing looking at the girl's boobs the whole time. That's not surprising.

The song went on and JJ's part was coming up. He began to rap and was all over this gorgeous bleached, blonde girl.

I couldn't take this any longer; I closed YouTube and got up off of the chair.

Once I walked out of the room. I ran into Gilinsky.

"I heard you listening to the music video," he smirked.

I rolled my eyes and walked away.

"So you're just going to walk away from your problems? Like you always do?" He yelled behind me catching up to me.

"I'm going on a walk," I state.

"Oh no you're not," he blocked the door.

"Move!" I yelled.

His hands balled into fists and his jaw clenched.

I opened my mouth to say something but the next thing I knew, I stumbled back and a wave of pain shot through my head. I crashed to the floor with something heavy on top of me.

"Oh my god!" Jack cried. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Oh my god!"

By this time I struggled to keep my eyes open. I tried to move but I couldn't, everything hurt. A few seconds later the weight was lifted off of me but I still couldn't move. Black spots blurred my vision and my head spun like a top. My eyelids were heavy and there was absolutely no way to keep them open.

"No, no, no, Alyssa! Stay awake! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" Jack picked me up in his strong arms running out of the house.

My head continued to pound. Wait, does Jack actually care about me?

"J-Jack," I croak.

"It's okay. You'll be okay," he says trying to blink back tears.

"D-do... do-do y-y...you ac-ctually...?" That was the last thing I was able to choke out before I slipped into darkness.

*jack g*

"D-do... do-do y-y...you ac-ctually...?" Was the last thing Alyssa croaked before her eyes fluttered shut.

Do I what? The question is what did I do to her? My heart rate quickens as I placed her in the passenger seat of my car.

What did I do? I just crushed my little sister with a book case that's what I just did! Yes, my little sister. I do care about her! I'm a total jerk.

I kept glancing back at her as I speed down the empty roads.

"Please be okay," I whispered. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean anything I ever said to you. Please be okay."

By this time the color was almost gone from her face, her breathing slowed, and she was a bloody mess. This only made me drive faster.

Once I pulled up to the ER I didn't waste another minute picking her up and racing her into the building.

"Help! Help! She needs help!" I yell as many nurses and doctors look up at me and coming to my aide.

They took her from my arms placing her on a gurney.

"How did this happen?" One of the nurses asked.

"Ask me later! Just please just help her!" I cried.

"She's not in good shape. Let's move her," a doctor says to the others.

"No! She needs me! Alyssa! No! You can't make me stay here when she's like that, please!"

"I'm sorry sir but you need to wait here. You're not allowed to go past here."

I ran my fingers angrily through my hair, just now noticing tears drenching my cheeks. As I walked over to a seat, I unlocked my phone I pulled up the contact that Alyssa is going to need the most.

Johnson.

"Dude, I'm in a meeting. What?" Johnson asked picking up the phone, obviously irritated.

"You need to get your ass out of there and to the hospital now!" I yell into my cell phone.

"Woah! I'm on my way what happened?"

I sniffled, "I did something bad to Alyssa. You just need to be here right now. She is going to need you."

"Okay! Okay! I'm getting in my car now," he hung up.

What have I done?

~^~

Crazy chapters... :P

There will be more tomorrow cuz I'm going to be on a bus for 14 hours cuz I'm going to Myrtle Beach for dance nationals :)

I'm so excited!!!

Also thank you for 458 reads!!!! That's almost half a thousand and I didn't imagine it to be this good!!

Stay Stunned