Foster + j.j.

xxxiii.

*alyssa*

My head was aching trying to remember what happened before I got here. The thought kinda scared me. It must have been really bad if I ended up in the hospital. The door opened and Nash walked in.

"Hey," he said walking up to my bedside and sitting down next to me.

Exactly where JJ was sitting a few moments ago.

"You okay?" He asked.

"No. What happened? I have no recognition of what happened?"

"Gilinsky pushed you into a book case. It fell on top of you and he drove you here and yeah."

I swallowed hard. That's what happened?

"Wh- Why would he do that?"

He shook his head, "I don't know. He can't even find a reason. It just kinda happened."

We stayed silent.

"Why does he hate me so much. What did I even do to him?"

Tears began to form and slowly went down my face.

"I don't know but if it makes you feel any better. He is absolutely heartbroken about what he's done. Anything he's done to you he regrets."

"So what you're telling me is that he had to slam me into a book case just so he can feel pity for me?"

"Lyss, you know it's not like that."

"Then what is it Nash? Anything I do I get criticized and it hurts so much. I've done absolutely nothing to anyone and this is what I get? I never deserved anything like this. Don't even get me started on hate and stuff like that directed towards you. You've trained yourself to ignore it, you're a celebrity. I'm just me from a small town near Philadelphia that gets broken time and time again but somehow manages to get back up. I may be broken but I somehow hide it behind a broken smile. I've tried so hard for so long and this is the breaking point. This is the last straw. No one likes me. No one wants me. I realize that it's not worth it anymore."

"What isn't worth it anymore?"

I took a deep breathe, "Living life."

His eyes widened, "Suicide isn't the answer here, Alyssa."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Yes! I can think of a million better ways than suicide. Think of the good in your life. Do you seriously want to leave that behind? Leave everyone that cares for you and loves you? Huh? Is that seriously what you want?"

"You're thinking of everyone else Nash. I'm not happy. Can't you see that?" I sniffled. "Whatever happened to what I felt? It's always been how everyone else felt. No one has ever asked me if I needed help. I know I probably sound like a bitch but sometimes you have to be selfish and go with your own decision and not think of everyone else."

"If that's what you want, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you."

He got up and walked out of the room.

*third person*

Nash walked out of the hospital room closing the door quietly behind him then walking up to Jack Johnson, crouching down to his level.

"I think it would be a good idea to go in there and talk to her."

Jack shook his head, "She doesn't want to talk to me."

Nash got closer to his ear and whispered, "What she just told me shouldn't be ignored."

"What do you mean?"

Nash paused, "She told me that she isn't happy and she hasn't been at all. Jack, she said she wanted to commit suicide."

Jack's head shot up and his red cheeks are now revealed, "You're lying."

Nash gave him a sympathetic look and shook his head.

More tears escaped Jack's eyes and he got up going over to the room. He paused debating wether or not he should go in. The door knob twisted and he walked in, seeing Alyssa broken and bruised.

Her head turned towards him, "Jack."

He walked over to her bed and sat down next to her again grabbing her limp hand. She winced again. Jack loosed up on his grip and leaned down, kissing Alyssa's fingers several times. He kept his head down on the bed.

"Why?" He broke the silence. "Why do you want that for yourself? Think about me, David, Catherine, everyone who loves you."

Alyssa knew exactly what he was talking about and shook her head, "I'm not happy Jack. I've never been."

"Alyssa," he picked up his head, looking his straight in the eyes. "My words may or may not convince you and it may be a little too soon but," he paused. "I love you. I love you so much. More than you will ever know."

~^~

What did I just write?

I am seriously speechless that I just wrote something like that...

This just took a turn...

But I promise it will get better. Like happier!

I'm sorry if you cried :(

Stay Stunned for more!