Foster + j.j.

prologue

I sat in the familiar cold chair in the familiar boring room. There wasn't anything special about it. It had dark grey walls, two metal chairs with a metal table in between. To my left there was a large mirror. These people seriously think I'm that stupid? Obviously there is people watching me on the other side.

I've sat in this very chair my entire life. These people actually think they can fool me. Honestly, I can't find anything funnier than that.

Soon a man walked into the room. His name is Joe. I always liked Joe. He is always my "interviewer" or whatever the hell they call it. Every time I'm here he has to make it look like he has no idea who I am, even though he knows all about the living shit hole I call my life.

"Hi, my name is Joe and I'm just going to ask you some questions, okay?"

I smiled and sat up a bit nodding my head.

"Okay first question, what's is your full legal name?"

"Alyssa Jennifer."

"Last name?"

"I don't have one. Isn't that why I'm here?" I crossed my arms over my chest sitting back into the chair.

"Oh right I'm sorry, what is your age?" Joe says that same stupid joke every time.

"Seventeen," I answered as he scribbled down what I said onto his clipboard.

He stopped writing and put it down, "So tell me about your life in foster care, Alyssa."

I say the same exact thing every time, "I've moved around ever since I was like an infant. I've been a foster kid for as long as I can remember."

"Do you have any interests?"

"Anything that has to do with art. I've always had some sort of passion for it. I never knew exactly why but it makes me feel some type of way. A good way."

"I see. Tell me a little bit about school. Grades? Friends? Relationships?"

I always dread this question, "I struggle in school. Both academically and socially. Not very many people like me. That doesn't matter anyway because I might be gone by the next day anyway."

I begin to grind my teeth not making any eye contact with Joe, I always feel embarrassed whenever I talk about my disorder.

"Is there a certain disorder you have?"

I nod my head slowly still looking at my hands in my lap, "Avoidant Personality Disorder. APD for short."

"How has it impacted your life?"

"I do a shit job at making friends and a shit job in school. Anyone I meet I have trouble trusting."

"Even your foster parents?"

I nod my head.

"Okay, it was nice meeting you," he held out his hand.

I gave him a a simple smile and walked out of the room into the waiting area.

My leg bounced up and down nervously as I await Joe to come into the room. Every time I get so nervous because one day, one oh so lucky day a nice couple will adopt me.

Honestly, I think it's stupid that I'm still going through this. I just turned seventeen a week ago. Next year I'll be eighteen and won't have to go through this anymore. I wish they stopped this at seventeen. This is always the worst place in the world to be.

Moments later Joe walked in and gave me a sympathetic look on his face. I knew exactly what he meant. That look is way too familiar to me. When I was younger I would cry of Joe gave me that look but now I'm just used to it. I nodded my head, picked up my backpack and left the building without another word spoken.

~^~

I never find a good thing to write about.

But this one I think I'll actually finish, lol X'D