|Mha x reader| ☑

Cuts..(izuku x reader)

Okay just a little warning there is going to be mention of suicide and if any of that or things like that make you uncomfortable please don't read. But if you're fine with that continue on.😌
(By the way you don't go to u.a You and deku met In middle school)

You were always bullied for how you looked or how you dressed. Zuku (that's what you call him)was always there for you. But lately he hasn't been and it's been mainly because of his school which you can understand but there's been another thing. This girl that he's been hanging out with You don't know what her name is but she has brown hair and oddly pink cheeks. Whenever Zuku is around her He always seems flustered or something of the sort. Which doesn't get you jealous it's just a fact that he never really does that around you for some reason.

1 day you and Zuku we're going to hang out but He Suddenly canceled the date. After you asked him what was going on he said "Oh I promised someone I would study with them today and I just remembered!"You brushed it off and thought it was nothing that was until you saw them hanging out at the park. It was the girl with brown hair. And she was a little too close for comfort. And He didn't seem to mind at 1 bit.

You ran home crying harder than you ever have before. You were a sensitive person because you had a bad childhood. But you never even considered cutting yourself because you knew people still care about you. Well your family left you and you were on the verge of committing suicide and cutting your wrist but then Well your family left you and you were on the verge of committing suicide and cutting your wrist but the  izuku came in your life. He made everything better and told you you were amazing and beautiful and that made you wanna stay on this hell you call earth. But when you saw that earlier today that was your breaking point. you have even told yourself before "If 1 day he leaves me then nobody else will care for me so there's no point in living"You said that in a moment of horror Not knowing that it would be true.

The seconds you got home you ran straight to the bathroom lock the door and cry for what seemed to be forever you were on the verge of doing it or not. You thought maybe this is just some big understanding. But then you remembered he looked so much happier than he did with you. You didn't know what to do your mind flooded with Questions on what to do. But then you heard a voice, a voice That you remembered oh so well. It was the exact same voice in the back of your head that you had when you are a child It always told you that no 1 cared for you and that you should just kill yourself. The funny thing was it sounded exactly like you but it wasn't because your thoughts were trying to fight it off and it was kind of like a fight or a war between the lens and heroes but the villians were winning. Every single word that that voice said seem so right. But you knew that whatever you did that the voice said wasn't gonna end well for anyone. I thought for a second what if..... What if someone does care for me and when I kill myself Don't be sad and depressed and that will lead to do another death. You've seen a lot of shows and you read a lot of books So you know that when someone kills themself it's an endless Chain of depression and death for the people who loved them and the people who cared for them. You heard that voice go off for A moment Of time. But then it came right back on and this time your thoughts weren't fighting it they were more so feeding it with energy and making it stronger and stronger and stronger and this time you grabbed the blade. You breathe shakily as you saw it you knew that whatever you did you could never take back no matter how hard you tried. You Slowly took the blade and dragged it across your wrist. You saw the red liquid trickle from your wrist as it slowly went to the floor. You felt a sort of satisfaction from it. It made you want more. You slit it across your Wrist again and again and again........ And again. To there were so much blood on the floor that you could see your reflection your full on face in the blood. Your mind stopped for A moment And you looked at yourself in the mirror as blood was trickling from your arms. And you started crying crying so hard that it looked like someone was pouring a water jug over your face. You thought yourself what the hell am I doing. And you stared at yourself. You wrapped up your arms after a while of crying and sitting on the floor. You cleaned up the blood to but There was still a little stain left there which didn't mind you because it wasn't that visible. But Then..... You heard but steps and the door open. You jolted up From cleaning the stuff on the floor. You quickly hit the blade and pulled down your sleeve. You heard Zuku call from the other room saying Your name. You quickly ran to the living room and hug him. You don't know why but you did. There was this little flame of anger down. Deep down in you. You weren't mad At him you are mad at yourself for just forgetting like that never happened but you could never bring yourself to say anything when he came back.

After a while of you and him talking you went to go start making dinner and he said you had to go use the restroom. Your heart stopped you don't know why but it did. You remember cleaning it so you don't know why you were so scared. So after reassuring yourself that he won't find anything you started To make dinner.

You heard a loud bang. It startled you but it sounded like someone banging there fist on something. You aren't too worried but you thought maybe zuku got mad at something. Then you saw zuku come out of the bathroom clenching his fist walking straight towards you. That was the moment you realize that he found something about when you turn cutting you knew he didn't get this mad for nothing. You stood completely still and waited for yourself to get yell at. "Y/n....."He said shakily" What is this..."He said then held up the blade that still had blood on it. It was silent you didn't dare respond you knew the second you started talking you would start bawling. You knew if you said nothing it would sound more suspicious so you gathered up all the courage you could "I have no idea Zuku."You sounded strangely calm but there were still a little crack that you could hear in your voice Then nobody else could tell you were sad but he could." Show me your wrist..... " You Thought about it for a moment you knew that there was no going back and no letter what you did he was gonna find out. You slowly but surely lifted your wrist up to him. He grabbed your arms gently he knew that if you were cutting it was gonna hurt if you didn't to tight. He lifted your sleeve up gently and when it got all the way up you could hear him gasp a little. The wraps you input on Your wrist were now red from the blood Coming through your wrist cuts.

You could hear zuku start crying. You looked up at him and said the dumbest thing you probably could have said.. "Why are you crying?"Your voice was so calm when you said it. Like those cuts didn't mean anything But deep down there was a sense of  Brokenness And you don't know why but you just couldn't get to your feelings at the moment so you just said there in silence with him crying Quietly into your shoulder.

He asked you when he finally could speak why you did it. You didn't answer you didn't want to answer you didn't want him to find out that you did that For such an idiotic reason. You never told him about your past. And the only way it would make sense is if You told him about your past and why you cut your wrist. You took a minute to think of the words to say to explain it in the simple but complex way at same time

After explain the whole story to him. About your past and the girl with the brown hair and how you feels like he loves that girl More than he loves you. He them put you in a tight hug. You feel safe. He lifted you up bridal style and Took you to your bedroom laid you down and snuggle into your chest. He reassured you 1,000,000 times about how he loves you. And how much you mean to him. You told him you would stop cutting. Even though you knew would be a hard thing to do even though you just started. You started silently crying and so did he. You love him so much without him he wouldn't be here you would be another accident hanging by their neck from their ceiling. But there was just something something that was missing. You knew that no matter how hard you tried those cuts and those scars we're just gonna keep on adding up.

Hey guys! I just wanna say I felt like writing Something a little darker today but I just wanna say something important that if you're cutting or if you have suicidal thoughts please talk to someone don't keep it to yourself I've had the same problem and I know that it maybe hard and you may think that no one  loves you and that no one is ever gonna understand and you can't talk to anyone but that's not true because there is  always someone that is waiting and they will always be there no matter how you think they are or not. I just wanna say that if any of you are going through that I love you. And you deserve the world. But that's it for today guys Goodbye my fellow human beings stay beautiful!✨✨💖💖🙏

Sincerely,

~weeb_squad_check ~