The Outcasts [Discontinued Version]

Chapter Seventeen

~ Raven's P.O.V. ~

Fuck, Nick. Why did you have to say Remember Everything? Of course I know how to sing it, but I'll probably come a little too close to tears for my comfort around halfway through.

Oh god damnit, Jared.

"Raven, have you seen that article of you guys in People magazine?"

"Yeah, we all did."

"Alright, do you guys want to do something about it?"

"No, it'll just cause trouble. And maybe cost us thousands, maybe millions, if we decide to sue them," I say lazily. Everyone knows not to fuck with a big magazine. Gun wise and money wise.

"Alright, well. Did you guys figure out what song to do?"

"Yeah, we're doing Remember Everything by '5FDP'. Then after our show I was thinking if we should just make a list or something so that isn't on-the-spot like the others before? I think it's stressing Greg out."

"Alright, that's a cool idea. Oh! And that magazine called Revolver wants to do a photo shoot and small interview with you guys when the tour goes on break. All of you guys," Jared says before leaving.

"Alright, I know," I sigh. I have to mentally prepare myself for the song I'm going to sing. It very much sums up my relationship with my family. Well, not by much. But it hurts to sing because I'm saying it. If my family were to have seen or heard me sing this, it would say 'I'm sorry'. It literally says I'm sorry, and I'm not. But I do want them to forgive me, and for me to forgive them.. But let's be honest, they won't forgive me. They won't change. And even if they begged me, I wouldn't forgive them. And I will never change..

"Hey, Ray," A guy says as he touches my shoulder.

I turn instantly with surprise to see Andy not even five inches from me. "Hey, what's up?" I say.

"Uh, we're done sound checking," he says.

"Oh, cool. That's good. Uh, I have to find Gregor, one of our crew guys, I have to talk to him about a cover list," I say easily, leaving and finding him instantly.

Once that was all done and over with me and the guys got our gear up and running, Gregor had to put in the extra sound that was in the song Remember Everything, which I guess was a lot. But he didn't say anything, he gets payed enough to not complain.

The guys just had to focus and follow along as the beginning progressed:

'Well, dear mother," I sang. "I love you... I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough."

"Dear father, forgive me... 'Cause in your eyes I just never added up."

"In my heart I know I failed you... But you left me here alone."

Then the guys started. "If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?

'Cause I remember... Everything!

If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets? 'Cause I remember.. Every-thing!" I yelled, using my gut as I emphasized the last word.

"Well, dear brother. Just don't hate me, for never standing by you or being by your side..

Dear sister.. Please don't blame me, I only did what I thought was truly right.

It's a long and lonely road... When you know you walk - alone!

If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?

'Cause I remember.. Everything!

If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?

'Cause I remember... Every-thing!

I feel like running away, I'm still so far from home.

You say that I'll never change, but what the fuck do you know?!

"I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in!

Please forgive me. I can't forgive you now..

... I remember.. Every-thing,"I sigh when I put the mic down, running a hand through my hair as I regained my mental defence. I breathed through my nose deeply as Jake did his short guitar part, but soon started singing again.

"If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?

'Cause I remember.. Everything!

If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?

'Cause I remember.. Every-thing!"

"We all went by so fast, I still can't change the past." Nick and Matt sang as I built up my voice to sing again. "I always will remember.."

"Everything! If we could start again, would that have changed the end?

We remember...

EVERY THING!!!!" I yelled, huffing a little. "... Everything..."

The guys finished their last note as I sat down on the stool behind me, I heard the guys and our crew applaud, also hearing the 'BVB' members clap and say how great it sounded. "Thanks guys, that took a shit ton o' breath," I chuckle, hiding.

There can't be a break in the mental wall I built, then she will come back from the grave. I don't want that to happen, I'm done with her. Damn Nathan, why did he of all, fucking, people have to find out my running away?

No, it wasn't me running away, that was Regans' choice.

"Alright, guys. Same thing as last time," I say, continuing with our sound check.

~•~

We heard the fans enter the arena and start getting pumped for us to come on, we were backstage, getting our gear on and ready. I looked to the guys as one of our crew got my in-ear system ready and gave it to me to put in, I did and grabbed the wireless microphone from him. "Is this on?" I ask, he nods. "Are you all ready?" I say into the mic with a lengthened tone, hearing the fans outside scream.

Gregor started our intro song, it was that creepy track from Resident Evil. When it was done we were ready and ran out, saying some 'fuck yeah's and 'how are you's. "Let me see your fucking hands!" I yelled, grinning as they screamed and jumped, raising their hands.

"Fuck yeah! Now this song is our single, 'It's Alright'!"

And then our show starts, adrenaline pumping. And the weird feeling of invincibility coming over again..