Thats Life

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This is life
I'm sad
But I'll deal with it
What did I do wrong
Why am I treated this way
I must have done something wrong
I'll deal with it
Eventually, I'll move on
Cope with it like everyone does
This is just life

Anxiety is normal, just taboo
Suicidal thoughts, just a phase
I'll push through
Bruises heal like cuts do
But these holes in the walls
I'll have to cover up
Reapply my makeup
Keep my head down
It's wrong if I speak up
A defiant and rebellious teen
Now a days labels mean everything
But that's just life

Can barely roll out of bed now
Thoughts starting to a get a little too loud
I'm an adult now
I thought it'd be over by this point
Sides getting thinner
Cuts getting deeper
Maybe it's time time that I left now
But that's just it
It's life
I should get over it

That's what they want though
For me to pull that trigger
For me to prove I'm a quitter
That I can't handle my triggers
You don't know the half of it
My diagnosis doesn't define me
And that doesn't mean that it's easy
Getting out of bed still makes me queasy
My thoughts still suffocate my very being
That trauma repeats itself like a movie
Every time I close my eyes
And that's life
But now I'm taking control of it

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**please note most people with suicidal ideation don't actually want to die. They just want the pain to stop**

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