High School Au- Bungou Stray Dogs AU

goodbye

TW: abuse, su*c*de, s*lf h*rm, p*lls, homophobia

Dazais P.O.V.

Once its the night and I'm back in my room I start texting atsushi again. 'Hey im really sorry. Stuff got complicated and I wasn't able to text until now' 'hey don't worry about it. Its okay' I smile slightly at my phone. 'I love you' I message and then shut my phone and hide it under my pillow, ill at least try to sleep.

When I wake up I go to get my phone but its not there...oh. shit. Mori took my phone oh fuck what the hell do I do. Did he read EVERYTHING. me and atsushis messages, the old vents I had in my notes, all the depressing amd gay shit I've looked up. I stay in my room until I get screamed at to come downstairs. When I do I already know whats gonna happen. "Yes?" "What the fuck dazai!?!" "W-what!?!" He kicks me and i start shaking. "OH SO YOUR A SUICIDAL F*G*T NOW!?!" "N-NO!?!" He throws my phone at me. "THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS" I stay quite cuz arguing will just make things worse. I let him scream at me and hit me and kick me until he yells at me to go back upstairs. I run back up there and slam my door. I took my phone with me. Chuuya and aku start spamming me immediately. 'Dazai we heard everything. Moris just an ass. Calm down' 'I'm fine' I quickly message them back and go to text atsushi. 'Hey atsu I know we've only known each other for a little while but you really have been the love of my life. Don't forget that please, you really did help me but nit everybody can be saved'

a minute or so later he starts spam calling me and I answer. "Dazai what was that text about!?!" "...why are you do panicked?" "That sounded like you were gonna...nevermind" "...cuz I was. Mori found out about everything. Even stuff you don't know" I quietly sob into my own sleeve.

Atsushi calms me down a bit. "Were you actually gonna-" "yeah...i still have a bottle of pills in my hand-" "dazai put them down" "...but I can't handle this anymore." "Dazai please" I put them down, still keeping them next to me "f-fine." I start sobbing again.

Once me and atsushi get off the phone its like 1 A.M. chuuya and aku are asleep. I stare at the pills agian. Would anyone REALLY care? Will it make all the pain go away. F*ck it i don't f*cking care anymore. I slowly reach for them. "...I love you all"